Don't judge me
Help!
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| : Why do bananas wear suntan lotion? | : Because they peel!
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| : What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? | (I don't understand this one.)(sing to the tune of 5th symphony): Banana..na....! Banana..na....!
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| What do you call two banana skins | A pair of slippers
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| When banana growers are heart broken, what do they sing? | What else but Peelings?
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| Why did the banana go to see the doctor? | The banana was not peeling very well
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| Why did the banana go out with the prune? | Because he couldn't find a date.
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| What is the easiest way to make a banana split? | Cut it in half
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| Not really a joke | Broccoli: I look like a tree. Walnut: I look like a brain. Mushroom: I look like an umbrella. Banana: Dude! Change the topic.
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| : If a crocodile makes shoes, what does a banana make ? | Slippers!
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| How do you spell banana | E,V,I,L (I don't agree, bananas are majestic creatures)
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| Do bananas drink Coke or Pepsi | (Again I don't agree with this) Neither, they drink blood because they're evil
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| How did the Iceland repel the bananas attack | (People from Iceland are mean banana killers)
By freezing them
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| What do bananas Hitler and Napoleon have in common | (Nothing) Everything
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| Why did the man lose his job in a fruit packing firm | He kept throwing the bent bananas away
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| How did the mother banana spoil the baby banana | she left him out in the sun too long
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| (Not a banana joke) A guy walks into a bar, and asks the bartender for a glass of water. The bartender pulls out a shotgun and shoots, narrowly missing the guy. The guy says thank you, leaves a tip then leaves. Why did he say thank you and leave a tip. | (See has nothing to do with bananas)
He had the hiccups.
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| (Now back to your regularly scheduled banana jokes) Did you hear about the unlucky man who bought some bananas | They were empty
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| Why dont bananas snore | Because they dont want to wake up the rest of the bunch
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| why are you eating a banana with the skin on | oh its alright I know whats inside
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| Whats yellow on the inside and green on the outside | A banana dressed up as a cucumber
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| What's the best way to get King Kong to sit up and beg | Wave a two-ton banana in front of his nose.
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| What would you call two banana skins | A pair of slippers
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| What do you do if you see a blue banana | Try to cheer it up
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| What's yellow and writes | A ball-point banana
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| What's yellow and always points to the north | A magnetic banana
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| What is yellow and goes bzzzzzz | An electric banana.
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| How do monkeys get down the stairs | They slide down the banana-ster
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| What kind of a key opens a banana? | A monkey
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| Why did the monkey like the banana | Because it had appeal
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| How can you tell the difference between a monster and a banana | Try picking it up. If you can't, it's either a monster or a giant banana.
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| Why are bananas never lonely | Because they hang around in bunches.
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| how do you catch King Kong | Hang upside down and make a noise like a banana
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| Why do bananas do so well on the dating scene | Because they have appeal
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| Mandy: Our teacher went on a special banana diet Andy: Did she lose weight? | Mandy: No, but she sure could climb trees well!
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| This one is not appropriate for school and dont let your teacher see it. just dont let a teacher see it | I'm Chiquita banana and I'm here to say
if you wanna kill your teacher, there's a real easy way
just take a banana peel, and put it on the floor
and watch your teacher go flying out the door
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banana king
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