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Gottman Principles of Emotions

Emotion Coaching The Key to Becoming Emotionally Intelligent
DisMissing Emotional Needs = <--Feelings are Wrong, Inappropriate, Not Valid, the Child is Broke; Let Me Fix it
DisApproving Adult = <--Adult Judges, Criticizes, Demands Conformity, Manipulation becomes Power Struggle
An Emotional Coach = <--Coaches: Regulation of Personal Emotions AND Trust; Teach+Learn Problem Solving Skills
Laissez-Faire Relations = <--Freely Accepting Emotions, Comforts- Without Guiding/Teaching Skills, 'Get it Out' ; 'Ride it out'
Empathy Identify AND Understand Another's Emotions; (Feel what others Feel)
Step One /5 Strategies (B Be --> Self-Aware; Child Aware, Be@Peace
StepTwo /5 Strategies (R Recognize Emotion as an Opportunity --> Build Trust, Intimacy, and Collaboration
Step Three /5 Strategies (E Empathize Listening --> Validate by Hearing With Heart AND Mind AND Soul
Step Four /5 Strategies (V Verbalize Emotions by Name
Step Five /5 Strategies (S Solve: Limits AND Problems --> Better Choices, Family Values, New Skills
Collaboration Teamwork--> Parent-Child, Husband-Wife, Church-Home, Home-Community
BAD TIME to Coach (obstacles; Inappropriate Ineffective) TOO Upset ; TOO Tired; Serious Misbehavior; Negative Time Pressures; In Front of Friends
Aviod (X-Out) "Parental Agenda"; "Siding with Enemy"; "Mocking Bird Moments ("I don't remember !" ; "You don't Remember?!?";
"The Four Horseman of the Apocalpse" in Marriage Relations "Criticise; Contempt; Defensive; Stonewalling"
Useful Stategies "Scaffolding" and Praise; Thoughtfully 'MAP-A-LIFE' (child's daily life); Empower & Respect: Dreams/Wishes;
DON'T Impose Personal Solutions to Child's Problem;
DO Use: Sympethetic Frame of Mind Similar Situations "I Do Remember How/when I Felt... (Just Like You)" Translate Child's Situation to Similar Adult. ex: First day on new job
Created by: YILurn2B
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