Question | Answer |
Using silence | Encouraging a person to talk by waiting for the answers |
Accepting | Yes Uh-huh I follow what you say |
Giving recognition | Good morning, Mr. James You’ve combed your hair today I notice that you shaved today |
Offering self | I would like to spend time with you I’ll stay here and sit with you awhile |
Offering General leads | Go on And then? Tell me about it |
Giving broad openings | Where would you like to begin What are you thinking about What would you like to discuss |
Placing the events in time or sequence | What happened before, when did this happen |
Making observation | You appear tense I notice you’re biting your lips You appear nervous whenever john enters the room |
Encouraging description of perception | What do these voices seem to be saying What is happening now Tell me when you feel anxious |
Encouraging comparison | Has this ever happened before? Is this how you felt when….? Was it something like….? |
Restating | Pt: I can’t sleep. I stay awake all night Nurse: You have difficulty sleeping? Pt: I don’t know…he always has some excuse for not coming over or keeping our appointments Nurse: you think he no longer wants to see you? |
Reflecting | Pt: what should I do about by husband’s affair? Nurse: What do you think you should do? |
Focusing | This point you are making about leaving school seems worth looking at more closely You’ve mentioned many things. Let’s go back to your thinking of ‘ending it all’ |
Exploring | Tell me more about that Would you describe it more fully Could you talk about how it was that you learned your mom was dying of cancer |
Giving information | My purpose for being here is This medication is for This test will determine |
Seeking clarification | I am not sure I follow you What would you say is the main point of what you just said Give an example of time you thought everyone hated you |
Presenting reality | That was Dr. Todd, not a man from the Mafia That was the sound of a car backfiring Your mother is not here; I am the nurse |
Seeking consensual validation | Tell me whether my understanding agrees with yours |
Verbalizing the implied | Pt: I can’t talk to you or anyone else. It’s a waste of time Nurse: Do you feel that no one understands? |
Encouraging evaluation | How do you feel about…. What did it mean to you when he said he couldn’t stay |
Attempting to translate into feelings | Pt: I am dead inside Nurse: Are you saying that you feel lifeless? Does life seem meaningless to you? |
Suggesting collaboration | Perhaps you and I can discover what produces your anxiety Perhaps by working together we can come up with some ideas that might improve your communications with your spouse |
Summarizing | Have I got this straight You said that During the past hour, you and I have discussed… |
Encouraging formulation of a plan of action | What could you do to let anger out harmlessly The next time this comes up, what might you do to handle it What are some other ways you can approach your boss |