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FMSC 230

Direct experience  Different for each person  Problems with memory, changed meanings
Reliable source  Tradition  Authorite
Research  Theory-driven, compares data collected to data expected  Predicting probability of an outcome
Purpose  Explore, describe, and explain phenomena around us
Quantitative  Measuring objective experiences  Analysis with numbers, statistics
Qualitative  Exploring subjective experiences  Describe patterns, theme
Survey Research- Strength  -Large representative samples  Reliable instruments  Generalizable result
Survey Research- Weaknesses  Instruments can be inflexible, missing data issues  May measure constructs artificiall
Survey Research- Example  Self-administered (mailed, group data collection)  Interviewed (in person, telephone
Observation Research- Strength  Large quantities of detailed field notes  In-depth look at a particular sample or phenomenon
Observation Research- Weaknesses  May not be generalizable to population  Researcher must be mindful of self/biases/value
Observation Research- Example  Ethnography  Focus Groups  Interview
Experimental Research- Strength  “Standard” in the scientific field  Results can be replicated with different subjects  Isolate the influence of the experimental variable
Experimental Research- Weaknesses  Artificial laboratory settings may produce behaviors different than in natural settings  Ethics of the control group
Clinical Research-Strength  For a specific population: those experiencing clinical levels of distress  Assess interventions, therapies, conditions, disorders  Can use surveys, observations, experimental design
Clinical Research-Weaknesses  For a specific population: those experiencing clinical levels of distress
Clinical Research-Example  Couples Abuse Prevention Program (CAPP) at the Center for Healthy Families
Research on couples informs  Local, state, and federal policy  Community programming  Clinical practice and therapy  General knowledge to improve relationship
Erroneous conclusion  Ecological Fallacy: saying something (wrong) about an individual based on group observation  Reductionism: saying something (wrong) about a group based on individual observatio
Statistics ≠ fact  Easily manipulated by beliefs and agendas  Important to consider the source of the statistic
Romantic Love: emotionally intense, passionate
Companionate Love calmer, intimacy, affection, commitmen
Friendship Love : attachment, sharing company and experience
Attachment Theory (Bowlby, Ainsworth) Our primary motivation in life is to be connected and close to others, to feel secur
Wheel Theory: Four Stages of Love (Reiss)  Love is developed by moving through four stages  As long as wheel rolls forward, love grows
Triangular Theory (Sternberg)  Intimacy: warmth, bonding, trust, emotional support  Passion: romance, physical attraction, sexual fulfillment  Decision/Commitment: conscious or unconscious choice to be in a relationship with someone
Six Types of Love (Lee)  Eros: love of beauty, intense emotional attachment, powerful sexual feelings  Mania: obsessive love, extreme jealousy, fluctuating between ecstasy and despair
Six Types of Love (Lee)  Ludus: casual love, sex as recreation, many partners  Storge: companionate love, begins in friendship and deepens over time, domestic  Agape: altruistic love, unselfish and self-sacrificing  Pragma: practical love, rational, reasonable negotia
Courtship Systems- Close  No courtship occurs, partners do not participate in choice of union  Blind marriage  Arranged marriage  Forced marriage
Courtship Systems-Open  Courtship occurs, partners choose to enter an exit unions  Relationship market: prospective partners compare personal, social, and financial resources of eligible mates and then bargain for the best
What is Dating? Dating is the process of meeting people socially for the purpose of possibly forming an exclusive longterm relationship
What is Dating- Function  Recreation: we’re having fun!  Companionship: when I’m with you, I’m not alone  Intimacy and Sex: I’m seeking connection with you
What is Dating- Function  Mate Selection: can I spend the rest of my life with you?  Socialization: you’re different than my guy/girl friends  Status achievement: now I’m cool/attractive/worthy because someone is willing to date me
Filter Theory: three type  Propinquity: people who are nearby  Endogamy: people of the same social group  Exogamy: people of a different family group
Other filtering variable  Age  Ethnicity  Social Class  Religion  Physical attraction  Education
Stimulus-Value-Role Theory (Murstein)  Stage 1: a stimulus (physical attraction/an event) brings two people together  Stage 2: compare values to determine compatibility (political views, opinions about infidelity)  Stage 3: negotiate roles and test them through experience
Stimulus-Value-Role Theory (Murstein)  Potential partners are filtered out at each of these stages, or the relationship continue
Alternative to Filtering Model (Surra and Hughes)- Relationship-Driven Couple Grow in commitment to each other as you sort out mutual preferences, values, goals, etc.  Similar to filtering theory
Alternative to Filtering Model (Surra and Hughes)- Event-Driven Couple  Swing back and forth between commitment and ambivalence  Cycle of fights, separation, debate the relationship with friends, come back together, fight again
Pairing Up- Personal Introduction  Shared activity or group  Blind dates  Speed Dating
Pairing Up- Classified Ads  Perhaps obsolete, but still used  Gender Roles: men seek attractive women, women seek successful me
Pairing Up- Meeting Online  Social networking  Meet Up site
Online Dating Websites- Dedicated to meeting partner  Provides a catalyst for meeting  Pairs you with someone you don’t know  Algorithms  Personal Searching  Ultimately for the development of a relationship offline
Online Dating Websites- Advantage  “cast a greater net”, minimal initial investment, easy to form and dissolve
Online Dating Websites- Disadvantage  Possibility of deceit, commitment concerns, frustration
Traditional Courtship- Boy asks girl on a date, then another and another  They are attracted to each other and share common interests/goals  May or may not be dating other people
Traditional Courtship- “Going steady” or “Official” or “In a relationship on Facebook  Exclusive, experience conflicts and stay together, deepening intimacy and love
Traditional Courtship- Get engaged Decide to spend their lives together
Breaking Up- Neglect Response  Avoidant, let the relationship wither away  Passive, more typical of men
Breaking Up- Exit Response  Firmly withdrawing from the relationship  Active, can be early (dating) or late (divorce)
Breaking Up- Loyalty Response  Choosing to stay with no attempt to resolve problems  Passive, more typical of female
Breaking Up- Voice Response  Invested in the relationship but willing to change behavior  Active, constructively talking and seeking compromise
Why Marry?- Enduring Reason  Emotional security  Companionship  Desire to be parent
Why Marry?- Shorter-lived Reason  Physical attraction/economic security  Pressure from parents, peers, or pregnancy  Escape, rebellion, rebound, rescue
Why Marry? Social, economic, political norm
How do we know if we‟re ready?- Ideally  Emotionally prepared  Mature in values and expectations  Relationship is stable, safe, and secure  Economic security and awareness
How do we know if we‟re ready?- Beware  Keeping up with other couples  The wedding fantasy  The baby fantasy
During the engagement- Planning a wedding Planning a wedding
During the engagement- Premarital Counseling  While preparing for the wedding, prepare for the marriage  Examine the strengths and challenges, expand relationship skills to work through difficult issues  Communication and problem solving  Family and friends‟ impact on the relationship
The legal commitment- Standard marriage license  Social security numbers, fee, and “no, we‟re not blood related
The legal commitment- Covenant Marriage Contract  Anti-divorce commitment signed by couples  Premarital counseling, marital counseling for future challenges, minimum 2 year separation before divorce (or prove abuse
The legal commitment- Prenuptial Agreement  Contract that specifies in advance division of property and childcare in the event of divorce  “Long-term consequences of a short-term marriage”  Expiration clause
Types of Marriage Relationships- 5 Types of Enduring Marriages (Cuber & Harroff)  400 upper-middle class couples, aged 35-55  Enduring, not necessarily happy
Types of Marriage Relationships- Utilitarian: based on convenience  Conflict-habituated: ongoing tension and unresolved conflict  Devitalized: faded emotional connection, duty to stay  Passive-congenial: low emotional connection, high activity
Types of Marriage Relationships- Intrinsic: fundamentally rewarding  Vital: high emotional connection, shared activities  Total: high emotional connection, mutually dependent
4 Types of “Good Marriages” (Wallerstein & Blakeslee)  50 northern CA couples, white, well-educated, middle-class  Each “good marriage” has elements of an “antimarriage
4 Types of “Good Marriages” (Wallerstein & Blakeslee)- Romantic: passion, romance, “happily ever after  Neglect other relationships, hard to keep “the fire burning
4 Types of “Good Marriages” (Wallerstein & Blakeslee)- Rescue: comfort for past suffering, healing Opening of past wounds, repeated pattern
4 Types of “Good Marriages” (Wallerstein & Blakeslee)- Companionate: equality, friendship, teamwork Become roommates, lack passion
4 Types of “Good Marriages” (Wallerstein & Blakeslee)- Traditional: breadwinner/homemake  Lose self in the role, only common thread is the children
Commitmen  Determined to thrive despite hardship  Resistance to infidelity
Acceptance & Caring  Genuine friendship and respect  Emotionally supportive and understanding
Flexibility  Adjustments made on a foundation of mutual values and goals  Problem-solving and compromise
Marriage in Low-Income Families Lack of confidence in finding a “marriageable mate”.Believe having enough income to purchase the„props‟ of a respectable lifestyle is a crucial prerequisite for marriage.Financial resources to host a „proper‟ wedding.
Marriage in Middle-Income Families  The State of our Unions  Rutgers University annual study of marriage  “In middle America, marriage is in trouble”  Martial quality is declining for the moderately educated middle but not for their highly educated peer
Life Cycle of a Marriage Very enjoyable, negotiating roles and identities.Children.Satisfaction is reduced, stress of new responsibilities.Satisfaction increases, getting to know each other again.Very enjoyable, retirement and grandchildren.Men start and end higher than women.
But maybe marriage isn‟t for me…  Number of single persons is growing across all income levels  Some argue marriage is an „outdated institution‟  Discrimination against singles  Work policies  Tax codes  Cost of living  Quote from “The Family Crucible
Protective against physical and mental health problem Non-married persons have higher risk of death from cardiovascularor cancer-related causes than married persons.Women who never marry have higher risk for developing diabetes.Men who never marry have higher risk of dying younger.low suicide
Quality of the marital relationship matter High marital quality was related with lower blood pressure,less depression,and greater satisfaction with life.Single individuals have lower blood pressure than which suggests that single individuals are healthier than unhappily married individuals
Children who live with married parent National Longitudinal Survey of Youth: children in both single-parent or divorced-parent families have higher levels of behavioral problems and lower cognitive test scores than children in two-parent families.
Moral, spiritual, and intrinsic benefits of marriage  Longstanding tradition of marriage as the fundamental building block of a family  Insistence that the two-parent male-female family is the one best suited to raise moral, productive, and healthy children
Marriage is a dynamic institution  Changes in meaning over time  Multiple meanings (legal, political, religious, practical
Marriage is value-lade  Address the controversy of promoting the traditional marriage relationship amid American values of autonomy and privacy  Address discrimination against same-sex couples and ethnic and economic minorities
From getting married to staying married  Promote healthy relationships versus marriage licenses  Wide spread health insurance coverage for couple and family therapy  Non-partisan clearinghouse of resources  Non-partisan evaluation of current programs, policies, initiatives
Created by: Es10gg