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Conflict Class3

Exam 1

3 Questions to think about regarding boundaries. How do you know when they have been crossed? How do you respond? How should you respond?
Name 2 things that makes conversations difficult. Unpleasant reaction/uncertain outcomes (Example - neighbor's dog barks at night)
What are the 3 parts of the structure of a difficult conversation? What happened - Feelings - Identity
Name 5 parts of the "what happened" conversation. What happened/what should have happened/who's right/who did what/who's to blame
Name 3 parts of the "feelings" conversation. What's felt/express//deny?
Name 3 parts of the "identity" conversation. What does this mean to who I am? My selfworth? My worth in the yes of others?
Name 2 examples of how a message delivery attitude that can lead to a destructive conversation Goal is to show the other person they are WRONG and get them to take responsibility/may want to tell them how to fix the situation or themselves
Give 3 examples of how a problem solving attitude leas to a productive conversation Increase each party's understanding of situation/maintain or enhance the relationship as well as individual well-being/move toward problem-solving and how to improve situation
What determines the difference between destructive and constructive conflict? Communication determines the type of conflict.
List two points about the Truth Assumption. We think we have all needed info/leads to arguing our conclusion
Name three things that can go wrong in a "What Happened" conversation? BIT - Blame, Intention, Truth`
Name 3 points about blame. Counter to understanding, hinders problem solving, can hinder problem detection
Name 2 ways we should deal with blame. Switch to contribution instead of blame. Focus on the future, learning, and change.
Name 3 things that often happen in the "what happened" conversation. CAB - Conclusions, Arguing, Blaming
Where do you want to get to in a "what happened" conversation? Move from certainty to curiosity/ASK ABOUT THEIR STORY/separate intent from impact/look forward tith contribution/change roles
Name 4 things that often happen in the feelings conversation. Judgments, Attributions, Characterizations, Problem solving
Where do you want to get to in the feelings conversations (3 things)? Express full spectrum of feelings/express without judgement or blame/listen and acknowledge
Name 1-4 out of 8 Communication Tools for Conflict I statements/XYZ statements/Appropriate questions/Reflective listening
Name 5-8 Communications Tools for Conflict Nonverbal cues of interest and openness/relationsal statements/internal sumaries of progress/reframing
What does reframing mean? Neutralizing venomous comments
What is often the reason we may fear conflict? Identity. Ami I competent? A good person? Worthy? Similar to concept of face.
Name 3 points about vulnerable identities. I don't make mistakes/I didn't contribute to this problem/My intentions are pure and simple.
Ways to deal with Identity issues: Plan ahead: know yourself/detach
Name 3 points about distributive justice. Equity/equality/need
What does procedural justice deal with? Process
What does social exchange theory deal with? Reciprocity in relationship (e.g. Donald Trumpe and Melania)
Name two points about social exchange theory. Social interaction is likened to transactions in economic marketplace/ Exchange is a theory which attempts to explain interpersonal behaviors in terms of the exchange of rewards and costs
Name 3 more points about Social Exchange Theory (FCE). Focus on what people put into and get out of a relationship/ Centers on dyads, but looks at some more complicated forms as well/ everything we do has costs (to be minimized) and rewards (to be maximized) associated.
Define rewards. Anything that a person gains from a relation.
What are 6 main rewards? Love, money, status, info, goods, services
What are relational costs? Negative consequences of a relation
What are 3 main relational costs? Time, energy, emotional upset
Name 3 points about social exchange theory and conflict. Exchange does not have to be in kind/ mutually beneficial relations lead to liking/ when exchange is perceived as unfair by one party, conflict can result
Define Equity Theory Based on social exchange theory. Focuses on people's feelings of how fairly they have been treated in comparison with the treatment received by others (inputs and outcomes).
Created by: MNA