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Kelly & Steve Chapters 4&8

Quiz yourself by thinking what should be in each of the black spaces below before clicking on it to display the answer.
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Question
Answer
Emotion   show
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5 Features of Emotion   show
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show disclosing your emotions to others.  
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show people share between __-__% of their emotional experiences.  
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show the rapid spreading of emotion from person to person, such as anger running through a mob.  
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show _______ ______ can lead to emotion contagion.  
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show short-term emotional reactions to events that generate only limited arousal; they typically don’t trigger attempts to manage their experience or expression.  
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Feelings   show
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show low-intensity states – boredom, contentment, grouchy, serenity – that aren’t caused by particular events and typically last longer than feelings or emotions.  
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show ______ powerfully influence our perception and IPC.  
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show emotions that involve unique and consistent behavioral displays across cultures >> joy, disgust, anger, fear, & sadness.  
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show 6 primary emotions  
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The high-intensity counterpart of surprise is   show
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The high-intensity counterpart of joy is   show
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The high-intensity counterpart of disgust is   show
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show Rage  
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show Terror  
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show Grief  
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Blended Emotions   show
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Shame, Sad love   show
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show Hindu has ___ primary emotions.  
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9 Hindu primary emotions   show
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Class   show
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show Difference in gender accounts for __% in reported life happiness.  
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show Population density is/is not a predictor of happiness.  
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Are, aren't   show
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show cultural norms ab which forms of emotion management and comm are socially desirable and appropriate.  
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Display Rules   show
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Women, men   show
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IP relationships   show
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show M/w are more likely than m/w to express emotions that support relationships and suppress emotions that assert their own interests over another’s  
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High   show
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show Ppl high/low in agreeableness report being happier in general, better able to manage stress, & are rate by their peers as having superior emotion mgmt skills.  
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Negative   show
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show High/Low-neurotic ppl describe themselves as less skilled at emotional comm, report more frequent negative emotions.  
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1. I must be outstandingly competent or I am worthless.” 2. “Others must treat me considerately or they are absolutely rotten.” 3. “The world should always give me happiness or I will die.”   show
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show this was developed as a way for therapists to help neurotic patients systematically purge themselves of such beliefs.  
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Ellis's 5 Steps   show
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show the ability to manage one’s emotional arousal, excitement and desire.  
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3   show
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show __% of kids resisted.  
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True   show
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show Kids who waited to eat the treat had higher/lower SAT scores.  
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Critical Skill   show
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show the ability to constructively manage emotions.  
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show the ability to interpret emotions accurately and use this info to manage emotions, comm them competently, and solve relationship problems.  
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show 1.Acute understanding of their own emotions 2.Ability to see things from other’s perspective 3.Aptitude for constructively managing their own emotions 4.Capacity for harnessing their emotional states in ways that create competent decision making.  
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show ppl with high _______ _____ are more likely to inspire followers, be perceived as having integrity. They’re less likely to bully ppl or use violence to get what they want, and find it easier to forgive relational partners who have wronged them.  
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show ____ ____ is the most important skill of those comprising emotional intelligence.  
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Emotion Management   show
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show Do emotions naturally trigger attempts to manage them?  
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Suppression, Venting   show
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show The desire to _______ stems from recognition that feeling, thinking and openly communicating certain emotions would be relationally, socially or culturally inappropriate.  
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show most widely practiced strategy for managing unavoidable & unwanted emotions.  
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Suppression   show
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Venting   show
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Encounter Avoidance   show
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show intentionally avoiding specific topics that you know will provoke unwanted emotion during encounters w/ others.  
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Attention Focus   show
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show Systematically desensitizing yourself to emotional experience.  
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Encounter avoidance, encounter structuring, attention focus, deactivation   show
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show Which strategy for preventing emotions can trigger deep depression?  
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Reappraisal   show
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Reappraisal   show
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Before   show
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Occurred   show
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Reappraisal   show
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1. Before or during an encounter that you suspect will trigger an undesired emotion in yourself, call to mind the positive aspects of the encounter. 2. Consider the short and long term consequences of your actions.   show
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show What are the 2 reasons why we're more likely to inappropriately express our emotions online?  
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Asynchronicity   show
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show ___________ predisposes us to openly express emotions that we would otherwise conceal if we knew the response would be immediate.  
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Invisibility   show
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show Research shows the same part of the brain that controls empathy (orbitofrontal cortex) also monitors _______.  
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show Our ability to experience _______ is neurologically tied to our ability to perceive feedback.  
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show a negative primary emotion that occurs when you’re blocked or interrupted from attaining an important goal by what you see as the improper action of an external agent.  
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show _______ is driven by our perception that the interruption is “unfair”.  
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show Is anger common?  
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Several time a week   show
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Destructive potential   show
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show The most intense and potentially destructive emotion.  
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show Passive aggressive comm is more likely to happen when you’re _____.  
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show Anger is most frequently managed with what?  
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Physical and mental problems   show
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show a persistent state of simmering or barely suppressed anger and constant negative thinking.  
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show _____ _____ have thoughts dominated by the negative.  
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Chronic Hostiles   show
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Chronic Hostiles   show
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show the assumption that openly expressing emotions enables you to purge them.  
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show The engineer study on catharsis found that recently fired employees became more/less angry when venting anger ab the company?  
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Jefferson Strategy   show
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show What strategy is effective b/c it creates a delay between the trigger event/accompanying arousal and your comm response?  
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Jefferson Strategy   show
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show a blended emotion of joy and surprise coupled w/ other positive feelings like excitement, amazement, and sexual attraction.  
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show A fleeting and dis-fragile emotion  
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show Stays w/ us for a long time – triggered repeatedly by experiences linked w/ the loss.  
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show What strategy can help with managing grief?  
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show talking about your grief with others who are Experiencing or have experience similar pain, or ppl who are skilled at providing you w/ needed emotional support/comfort.  
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show _______ occur occasionally in response to substantial events, _______ arise frequently in response to everyday incidents.  
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show If someone uses suppression to manage grief, it can lead to what?  
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show The best way to help others manage their grief is through what?  
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Supportive Communication   show
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Competent Support Messages   show
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Incompetent Support Messages   show
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show 1. Make Sure the other person is ready to talk. 2. Find the right place and time. 3. Ask good questions. 4. Legitimize, don’t minimize. 5. Listen actively. 6. Offer advice cautiously. 7. Show concern and give praise.  
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Items measuring chronic hostility   show
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show -It’s hard to not blow up at ppl, they’re always screwing up. - I get furious just thinking ab how inconsiderate most ppl are. - Most ppl are manipulative and truly sicken me  
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Chua's   show
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show Chua attributes her behavior to her ________ but research says that’s not true  
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show A psychologist who studied thousands of ethnic families found that authoritarian parents occur in what ethnic groups?  
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Destruction, heartache, hopelessness   show
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show We like to think of conflict as what?  
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show T/F We don't judge relationships by how much the couple fights?  
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show T/F Conflict is a normal part of all relationships?  
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show People report having how many conflicts on average a week?  
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Almost anything   show
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Almost anyone   show
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show Most conflicts occur between people who ____?  
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show the process that occurs when ppl perceive that they have incompatible goals or that someone is interfering in their ability to achieve their objectives.  
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show What are the 4 features characterizing conflict?  
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show What shape how our conflicts unfold?  
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show T/F we blame ourselves more than other during conflicts?  
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how you handle conflict with someone will have consequences for your future interactions and relationship with that person.   show
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No   show
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show In what percent of disputes does the focus shift substantially as the conflict progresses?  
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show Action in which the combatants hurl insults at e/o that have little to do w/ the original disagreement.  
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Close relationship   show
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show Most conflicts are caused by prolonged ____ and frequent _______.  
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show What 3 issues do conflicts in close relationships arise from?  
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show Partners often develop consistent ____ for dealing w/ conflict.  
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The differences at hand   show
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show - Happy couples remain motivated to behave in ways guaranteed to keep them happy, & b/c _________, they’re more likely to work together to resolve conflict.  
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show Happy or dissatisfied couples often avoid important conflicts?  
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Communication   show
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Loved ones   show
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show Conflicts powerfully effect _____ relationships & encounters.  
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Power   show
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Power   show
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show T/F Power is present in most IP encounters/relationships.  
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Complementary Relationships   show
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show result from balanced power in the relationship.  
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Dyadic Power Theory   show
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Dyadic Power Theory   show
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show You’re most likely to run into controlling comm and power-based bullying when dealing w/ ppl who have _______ amounts of power over you  
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True   show
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show What are the heart of most conflicts?  
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show During what do ppl struggle to see whose goals will prevail, and they wield whatever power they have to pursue their own goals.  
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show To acquire power you must possess what?  
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Power Currency   show
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Resource Currency   show
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show special skills or knowledge valued  
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show a person who is linked with a network of friends  
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show Beauty, intelligence, charisma, comm skill, sense of humor, smart – characteristics that people consider desirable.  
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Intimacy Currency   show
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False, they differ   show
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show People are granted power based on the currencies they possess and the degree to which what?  
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Resource currency   show
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False, wealth is envied but unusual power is not granted to those who are wealthy.   show
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show Cultures differ in degree ppl view the unequal distribution of power as acceptable, know as what?  
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Power-distance   show
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High   show
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Low   show
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Yes   show
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show Power-distance shapes close relationship comm in what especially?  
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show The value of "respeto" in Mexican culture emphasizes what?  
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show Through what have men used cultural practices to maintain their societal, political & econ power?  
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Econ opportunity, educational access, political representation, and physical health care.   show
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93%, 96%   show
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Economic & Political   show
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show What nations are the most gender equal?  
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19th, 20th   show
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show But The US ranks __th & Canada ranks __th in political empowerment.  
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show What are the 5 approaches to handling conflict?  
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Avoidance   show
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Accommodation   show
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Avoidance   show
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Skirting   show
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Avoidance   show
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Sniping   show
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show What is the most commonly used approach in handling conflict?  
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show 2 substantial risks of avoidance are what?  
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Pseudo Conflict   show
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show when repressed irritation grows as the mental list of grievances we have against our partners builds.  
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show Avoidance can be a wise choice for managing conflict in situations where what?  
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Competition   show
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Whose needs they're interested/they admire   show
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show If people repeatedly approach conflict by making demands to the exclusion of your desires, it's a sign of what?  
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show Competition can trigger what type of comm?  
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show someone refusing to consider your goals or dismissing them as unimportant, acting superior to you by wielding power over you.  
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Escalation   show
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show What is a dramatic rise in emotional intensity and increasingly negative & aggressive comm?  
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show If ppl in conf both choose competition & won’t back down, what is guaranteed?  
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show When ppl choose to handle conf by not pursuing any conf related goals at all, communicating instead in an emotionally explosive/negative way.  
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Reactivity   show
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show treating conflict as a mutual problem-solving challenge rather than something that must be avoided, accommodated, competed over, or reacted to.  
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Compromise   show
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show What is the most constructive approach to handling conflict?  
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Respect & are concerned ab their desires in addition to your own.   show
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Collaboration   show
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Collaboration   show
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True   show
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Strength/manliness   show
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show What is the strongest factor influencing your conflict approach?  
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show Ppl from _______ cultures often view direct message regarding conf as personal attack >> more likely to manage conf through avoidance or accomm.  
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show Ppl from ______ cultures feel comfortable agreeing to disagree & don’t see clashes as personal affronts >> more likely to compete, react, or collaborate.  
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Collectivists   show
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show Collectivists/Individualists often separate conflicts from ppl?  
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show an extreme form of accommodation, “when a man takes your coat, offer him your shirt as well”.  
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show Those practicing what believe in a moral obligation to behave in a selfless/self-sacrificing way? >> in IP conf, this means discovering what the other person needs, then aiding them in attaining these goals, even if it means sacrificing your own.  
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True   show
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Religion   show
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show _____ of college students report using mediated channels to engage in confs.  
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show What's the most popular form of mediated channel that college students report using to engage in conflicts?  
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show College students reported choosing mediated channels rather than face-to-face b/c of what?  
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Texting   show
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Taking the encounter offline   show
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show Why is taking the encounter offline the most important step in managing conflict constructively?  
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show What are these? 1. Wait and reread. 2. Assume the best & watch out for the worst. 3. Seek outside counsel. 4. Weigh your options carefully. 5. Communicate competently.  
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show What are the 5 short-term conflict resolutions?  
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show the sudden w/drawal of 1 person from the encounter. Characteristic of approaching conf. through avoidance.  
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Domination   show
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Domination   show
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The power balance in the relationship   show
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show What kind of short-term resolution can have be destructive when a chronic pattern and 1 indv is always sacrificing their goals to keep peace >> can spawn resentment & hostility over time?  
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Compromise   show
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Collaboration   show
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show T/F Compromise can foster mutual resentment & regret.  
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show the 2 sides preserve & attain their goals by developing a creative solution to their problem creating a win-win solution.  
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Integrative Agreements   show
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Structural Improvements   show
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Structural Improvements   show
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show What short-term conflict resolution is only likely to occur when ppl involved control their negative emotions & handle the conflict collaboratively.  
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Collaborative   show
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show Ppl using what conflict approach tend to resolve confs, report higher relationship satisfaction, & experience shorter & fewer disputes?  
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show What is the biggest challenge when constructively managing conflict?  
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show While confs are _______ ppl typically do not consider long-term outcomes, and don’t perspective-take >> instead thoughts = simple, unqualified, negative views.  
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show In only __% of cases did respondents attribute cooperativeness to their partners & uncooperativeness to themselves. >> __% of fights think other person is uncooperative.  
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Sudden Death Statements   show
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show statements that are honest in content but have been kept hidden to protect partner’s feelings.  
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Serial Arguments   show
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Deep disagreements   show
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show What occur over time, and consist of cycles in which things “heat up” & then lapse back into temporary state of truce >> during “quiet” periods, indvs = more likely to think ab the conf., attempt repair the relationship, cope w/ stress from recent fight?  
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show Serial arguments are most likely to occur with what type of involvements?  
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show T/F Serial arguments are strongly predictive of relationship failure.  
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Demand-withdraw patterns   show
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Physical Violence   show
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52% women, 66% men   show
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12% women, 11% men   show
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show __% lesbian & __-__% gay respondents have been victims of violence during IP confs in their lives.  
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Chilling Effect   show
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show Malaysia, Panama, Guatemala, Philippines, Mexico, Venezuela, China are examples of what level power-distance?  
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show Spain, Pakistan, Italy, South Africa, Hungary, Jamaica, USA are examples of what level power-distance?  
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Low-Power Distance   show
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show _______ labeling determines the emotion you experience.  
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show What is the #1 emotion expressed by women?  
🗑
Moods   show
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Moods   show
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High   show
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Passion   show
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show The Cocker-Spaniel chasing it's tail example is an example of what?  
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show T/F within long-term relationships, you'll feel more passion towards others than you do your partner?  
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Legitimize don't minimize.   show
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show What is the biggest misconception about jealousy?  
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Jealousy   show
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show What is the biggest perceived threat for a person in their relationship?  
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Catastrophic Thinking   show
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Catastrophic Thinking   show
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show What are the 3 dimensions of jealousy?  
🗑
show Dimension of jealousy consisting of thoughts, worries, suspicions about "ex".  
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Behavioral Jealousy   show
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show Stalking is an outcome of what dimension of jealousy?  
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show Dimension of jealousy consisting of emotional/physiological reaction (arousal), occurs independent of conscious appraisal of threat.  
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show Kelly's ugly cry reaction when she found "the book" is an example of what dimension of jealousy?  
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show What are the two factors necessary for jealousy to occur?  
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Selective-ignoring, self-bolstering, self-reliance   show
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show What strategy for managing jealousy is the worst?  
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show What strategy for managing jealousy is the best?  
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show continue current activities & "stay cool"  
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show "Build yourself up", think happy thoughts  
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show Minimize or re-evaluate importance >> "this isn't important"  
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Self-Bolstering   show
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show What theory says relationships are an economic exchange of resources?  
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show 6 Root Assumptions About Relationships are: 1) Interdependence 2) Profitable 3) Reciprocate rewards 4) Variety of rewards 5) Perception of valued resource 6) Distribution of valued resources is rarely even.  
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Thibaut & Kelley Theory of Social Interdependence   show
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show Perceived reward/loss ratio.  
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show Evaluate standard based on perceptions of merited ("what I deserve") reward/cost ratio.  
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Comparison Level for Alternatives   show
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True   show
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show Relationship satisfaction is determined by comparing ______ to ______.  
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Relationship Satisfaction   show
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show Relationship stability is determined by comparing ______ to _____.  
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Relationship Stability   show
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Happy & stable   show
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Unhappy & stable   show
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show If CLalt > O > CL  
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show If CLalt & CL > O  
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show Unstable = _____ Stable = ______  
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The Principle of Least Interest.=   show
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