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Pitfalls of Comm.

Exam 2

what is the key to happiness in a relationship? communication!
what are techniques for good communication? (10) leveling, editing, balancing, 'I language', mind reading, documenting, give limited choices, listening, validation, and disagreeing
what is leveling? be honest, level the playing field, tell it like it is, how you feel
what is editing? censor info that you know would be hurtful or that is irrelevant
what is balancing? you have to balance leveling and editing... make sure you're not leaving important points out, but be careful what you say
what is 'I language"? Saying "I" instead of "you" when talking to your sig other. Take responsibility for how you are feeling, instead of outright blaming the other person for making you feel that way.
what is mind reading? don't assume! (don't assume that telling your sig other something would make them overreact, they probably need to know!)
what is documenting? give specific examples of the issue being discussed, avoid generalizations, if you can't be specific, get overt it, you're overreacting!
what is "give limited choices"? if you really want to improve on something, set flexible but specific goals
what is listening? try to really listen, paraphrase, and give feedback
what is validation? Just because you don't agree with the person doesn't mean you can't acknowledge that you understand where they are coming from
what is disagree? agree to disagree, but FIGHT FAIR!
how many rules are there to fight fair? eight!
what are the 8 rules of fighting fair? no sarcasm/insulting remarks, no bringing up the past, no playing "the therapist", don't threaten blackmail, don't bring up something you've held inside for the past 6 mos., don't hit and run, don't focus on blame (more on resolve), take responsibility
Created by: kelseyrae