Busy. Please wait.
Log in with Clever

show password
Forgot Password?

Don't have an account?  Sign up 
Sign up using Clever

Username is available taken
show password

Make sure to remember your password. If you forget it there is no way for StudyStack to send you a reset link. You would need to create a new account.
Your email address is only used to allow you to reset your password. See our Privacy Policy and Terms of Service.

Already a StudyStack user? Log In

Reset Password
Enter the associated with your account, and we'll email you a link to reset your password.
Didn't know it?
click below
Knew it?
click below
Don't Know
Remaining cards (0)
Embed Code - If you would like this activity on your web page, copy the script below and paste it into your web page.

  Normal Size     Small Size show me how

Conflict Resolution

COMN2311 - LECT 17 & 18 Concepts

DIALOGUE talk - managing yourself *U - understanding first - suspend judgement *E-emotional self-management - hot to cool feelings
Change HOT to ___ feelings COOL
How to cool down (4) Breath from the diaphragm; relax muscles; change your ego state & voice to (from angry parent/frustrated child) to your calm Adult state
Critical/angry parent words (8) That's bad; You should..: You ought..' You never..; Be good..; Don't you..;Ridiculous..; You must...
Critical/angry parent tones (8) judgmental; frown/squint; critical; condescending; loud; disgusted/sneering; scheming; demanding; comparing...
Critical/angry parent body talk (8) wagging/pointing finger; feet apart/hands on hips; slaps/spanks; serious look; arms crossed/closed postre; foot tapping; disgusted look; pounds table...
Frustrated child words (4) I'm wrong; No!; I don't care; You'll be sorry!/ It's your fault!
Frustrated child tone (4) placating/sweet; angry; soft; silence (withdrawal - sulk) ; accusatory
Frustrated child body talk (4) innocent look; aggressive; withdrawn/timid; angrily; hurtful
Appropriate Adult voice ask questions: How; what; where; who and "I"-messages
Appropriate Adult tone modulated; appropriate; controlled/calm; confident; corresponds to feelings
Appropriate Adult body talk relaxed; thoughtful; looks up; wrinkled brow; attentive
Assumptions of DIALOGUE talk solve problems; I manage myself; we both have to change; my story is my story (obv. only to me); you have your story (obv. only to you); I have all the date when I listen to your story; I clarify my meaning only; how did I contribute to this situation?
DIALOGUE style elements Descriptive language; I-message; ask about their story; listen actively to get their meaning; open acknowledgement of their story; genuine support for them & efforts to resolve
Listen actively and be a receptive _____ listener
Listen actively - FOUR DONT'S DON'T: tell them what they SHOULD be thinking; or tell your story; or give your opinion/advice; or debate
Open Acknowledgement (4) situational - "this has happened before"; personal - "I was upset" or "you seem really upset"; disarming - "I'm no expert but..."; hypothetical - "if i'd been in your situation, I would have..."
Genuine Support (2) Affirm the other's right to disagree and give positive feedback "You are...+" or When I see/hear...I feel...
IP Conflict Management Conflict occurs when one person thinks that actions of another will prevent them from getting what they want or from being the way they want to be - fighting; striving to overcome; mastery; internal btwn choices /external btwn peopl
3 levels of Conflict (1) disputation - win by light CONTROL+reasoned argument; (2) Defence of Position - move to heavy CONTROL + -ve rhetoric ; (3) Destruction of relationship/other - win by heavy CONTROL + 'force' physical/psychological
Orientations to conflict predispositions - approach/withdraw; beliefs - productive/undesirable; motivations - winning vs mutal agreement
Model of Conflict styles y-axis: hi-lo assertiveness (goals) + x-axis: lo-hi cooperativeness (relationship) > hi-lo:forcing win-lose < CONTROL talk > lo-hi: accommodating lose-win; lo-lo:avoid/fear lose-lose; mid: compromising both win/lose> DIALOGUE talk: collaborating win-win
Model of conflict management styles postpone until you 'cool-down'; ignores conflict vs resolve; personal stakes not high; confrontation will hurt; little chance of satisfaction; avoid/delay = uncooperative/unassertive; passive (adapted child)/nurturing (parent)
Forcing/competing heavy CONTROL; goals important; force resolutions; win-lose; controlling parent/rebellious child ego states; sometimes better decisions compared to less effective compromised decisions
Competitive Conflict Resolution Hard competitive; adversarial; victory; concession based; hard on problem/people; distrust-postional
Accommodating relationships important; resolve thru giving; unassertive/passive CONTROL w/ adapted child; assertive/light CONTROL w/ nurturing parent; win (other) - lose; maintain relationship; people take advantage
Compromising focus on goals & relationships; resolve thru concession; mutual light CONTROL w/ some DIALOGUE; willing to forfeit some goals; elicits assertion/cooperative adult; win-lose or lose-lose; relationship maintained; less than ideal outcome
Collaborating value goals & relationships; find agreeable solution for all w/ DIALOGUE; adult ego state; win-win; conflict not settled until all happy; takes time & effort
Nature of collaborative conflict resolution issues are on the table for agreement; one party's stand = their answer; interests - underlying concerns affected by a deal - their needs
Collaborative Principled Bargaining/Negotiation never let position drive out interests; find out more - what does other really want?; ask why or why not Qs & listen; discover variety of interests * weave them together - create value vs demand bigger share of value on the table
Collaborative Principled Bargaining/Negotiation separate people from the problem; focus on interests vs positions; invent options for mutual gain; insist on objective criteria; be self aware w/ adult DIALOGUE talk
Fair fighting express feelings w/ I-messages; define bounds of vulnerability; focus on here & now; paraphrase & listen; take it w. grace; focus on behaviour & ideas; look for where you can agree; see how you can help other get what they want
Describe use descriptive language to explain situation; nonjudgemental; assume little/nothing; present data as you see them
Asking Questions open-ended; open up conversation w/ 4W2H Qs; then close-ended Qs; probe for facts & details
4W2H Questions Who; what; where; when; how & how much (never why)
Keep positive "how can we solve this?" vs " why can't we solve this!" or " I'm not sure I'm clear on the whole situation, could you tell me more?"
Created by: elle99
Popular Miscellaneous sets




Use these flashcards to help memorize information. Look at the large card and try to recall what is on the other side. Then click the card to flip it. If you knew the answer, click the green Know box. Otherwise, click the red Don't know box.

When you've placed seven or more cards in the Don't know box, click "retry" to try those cards again.

If you've accidentally put the card in the wrong box, just click on the card to take it out of the box.

You can also use your keyboard to move the cards as follows:

If you are logged in to your account, this website will remember which cards you know and don't know so that they are in the same box the next time you log in.

When you need a break, try one of the other activities listed below the flashcards like Matching, Snowman, or Hungry Bug. Although it may feel like you're playing a game, your brain is still making more connections with the information to help you out.

To see how well you know the information, try the Quiz or Test activity.

Pass complete!
"Know" box contains:
Time elapsed:
restart all cards