click below
click below
Normal Size Small Size show me how
Relationships
COMN2311-LECT 20 & 21 Concepts
Question | Answer |
---|---|
Four functions of Interpersonal relationship | 1-alleviate loneliness 2-secure stimulation 3-maximise pleasure/minimise pain 4-gain self knowledge & self esteem |
Relationships meet ________ needs | deep, personal |
Two key basis for human attraction | proximity (close by/interact with often) & similarity (share core values & interests) |
Complementarity | needs & behaviour |
Three features of satisfying relationships | 1- investment 2- Commitment 3- Trust |
Trust in a relationship is built through _______ | self-disclosure (over time disclosures will broaden + deepen) |
There is tension in all relationships between _____, _____ and _____ | autonomy (share space - maintain identity), novelty (balance routine with new experiences) and openness (shared thoughts vs privacy) |
Five general expectations of intimacy | 1-trust 2-intimacy 3-acceptance 4-support 5-practical assistance |
Six expectations of friendships | 1-emotional support 2-enjoyment/fun/happy/positive 3-stand up for friend in their absence 4-shared information/feelings 5-trust & confide in each other 6-offer of help when needed |
Eight expectations of lovers | 1-acknowledge each other's individuality 2-similar attitudes, beliefs, values + interests 3-enhance each other's self-worth/ self-esteem 4-open, genuine + authentic 5-loyal + faithful 6-shared time 7-share rewards 8-experience "magic" (passion) |
Three dimensions of Romantic Love | 1-Passion (quick to develop + levels off) 2-commitment (increases gradually + levels off) 3-intimacy (grows steadily + levels off) |
Four aspects of committed romantic relationships | 1-voluntary 2-primary + continuing 3-permanent 4-romantic/sexual feelings of love |
Falling in Love (Hazan) | Culturally created name for the biological urge to mate enhanced by neuro-chemicals of dopamine, phenylethylamine and oxytocin (the cocktail of love) usually present for up to 30-months - long enough to have a few children |
Language of Romantic Love (4) | Recognition- I feel like I already know you Timelessness - I feel like I've always known you Reunification - I feel like I have found my other half Necessity - I cannot live without you |
Doomed Romantic Relationsihp (4 horsemen of the apocalypse) & antidotes (Gottman) | criticism - complain without blame contempt - build a culture of appreciation defensiveness - take responsibility stonewalling/withdrawal - do physiological self-soothing |
Romantic Love (4) | emotional brain intimate love - care taking - the illusion of safety and security - total absorption instinctual bonding lacking the consciences of mature love |
Mature Love (Peck) | will to extend oneself to nurture another ties self-love w/ love for other requires effort : DIALOGUE talk mindfulness |
Myths of Romantic Love | There is someone just for you You will recognise them there is a 'perfect match' - a forever love falling out of love is a mistake --> renewed search --> cultural burden |
Mass Media & Romance | encounter/courtship confrontation/quarrel seduction/sexual-intellectual confession of love/ after fight marriage / end of drama |
Life Cycle of relationships | coming together --> 5 substages coming apart --> 5 substages maintaining relationships |
Coming Together/Coming Apart: 3Qs | What's going on? Who am I to you? who are you to me? What is going to happen next? |
Coming Together (5) | Initiating - connect talk Experimenting - finding similarities Intensifying - increase personal knowledge/self disclosure/intimacy Integrating - creating "us" leading to commitment & permanency Bonding - formal rituals, living together, etc |
Coming Apart - key factors | unresolved tensions - over autonomy/routine/openess/etc shattered expectations - trust/intimacy/etc incomplete self-disclosure - areas of self open/hidden/etc problematic fighting styles - CONTROL talk/voice conflict resolution - forcing/compirmise/et |
Coming Apart (5) | Differentiating -focus Circumscribing - reduce frequency of intimacy/comns Stagnating - 'holding on' Avoiding - physical/psych separation Terminating - painful |
Maintaining Relationships | Pro-social behaviours - cheerful/compromise/avoid criticism Ceremonial behaviours - sharing events/anniversaries/etc Togetherness behaviours - joint activities Communication behaviours - DIALOGUE talk/fair fighting/etc |
Four Effective Porblem-solving skills in a long term (Gottman) | 1-physiological soothing (emotional self management) 2-softened startup 3-repair/de-escalation 4-compromise |
Commensal | eating a meal at the same table together - an important way to maintain relationships |