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Conflict Class

Difficult Conversations Checklist

The first step to prepare to walk through the three conversations is to sort out: What Happened
What are some examples of where your story came from? Information, past experiences, rules
Is the impact of the situation important to you or them? Yes
Do you ask what others' intentions are? Yes
What have you each _________ to the problem? Contributed
The second step in walking through the three conversations is to understand: Emotions (or Feelings) WHIF "What Happened, Identity, Feelings"
What must you do with your Identity as part of the third conversation? Ground it.
What questions can you ask to ground your identity? What's at stake for you about you? What do you need to accept to be better grounded?
Step 2 in the Difficult Conversations is to check your purposes and: Decide whether to raise the issue
What are 2 examples of purposes in a difficult conversation? What do you hope to accomplish? Shift stance to support learning, sharing, and problem-solving.
What are 4 examples of ways to decide to broach a difficult conversation? Is this the best way to achieve purposes? Is issue embedded in Identity? Can you affect problem by changing your contributions? If you don't raise it, what can you do to help yourself let go?
Where should you start, by taking the third step of the difficult conversations checklist? the Third Story
What are the three main points with starting from the Third Story? Describe Differences in stories, share purposes, invite other to be a partner in the solution
Step 4 in the checklist for difficult conversations says to explore: Their story and yours
How do you explore another's story and yours? Listen to understand (acknowledge feelings!); share your viewpoint; REFRAME to keep on track
What are some ways to reframe? Move from truth to perceptions, blame to contributions, accusations to feelings
What is the last step in the difficult conversations checklist? Problem Solving
What are the 3 parts of Problem Solving? Invent options to address most important concerns; look to standards; keep communication open
List the 5 main steps in working through difficult conversations: Walk Through 3 Conversations; Check Purposes & Decide Whether to Raise Issue; Start from Third Story; Explore Stories; Problem Solve
Created by: MNA