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Habit 4
Question | Answer |
---|---|
Win-Lose | “I’m going to beat you no matter what.” If you’re high on courage and low on consideration, you’re always trying to get ahead of others or be better than other people. You’re proud. You can’t win unless other people lose |
Lose-Win | “I always get stepped on.” If you’re low on courage and high on consideration, you’re insecure. You’re not brave enough to stick up for yourself. |
Lose-Lose | If you’re in the bottom-left corner, you’re low in both courage and consideration. You don’t care if other people lose, nor do you have the courage to stand up for yourself. |
Win-Win or no-deal | Ultimately, it’s the upper-right corner where you want to be—high in both courage and consideration. You go for win-win or no deal. You’re ready to walk away before someone loses—including yourself. Balancing courage and consideration. |
Keep Confidences | When someone shares something with you in confidence, keep it that way. Be careful about what you spread around about other people on social media. Texting information about others can humiliate them and might get you into serious trouble. |
Be Loyal to the Absent | Avoid gossiping or backbiting. If you bad-mouth someone, the people listening to you will wonder if you’re doing the same to them behind their back. Stick up for people. If you hear someone bad-mouthing a friend, speak up. |
Set Clear Expectations | Don’t leave things fuzzy. With roommates: “I’ll make dinner this week if you’ll clean the kitchen.” Or with a study group: “We all need to read 100 pages by the next time we get together.” Then follow through on what’s expected. |
Apologize | If you’re in the wrong, admit it now: “That was unkind of me, I apologize.” Don’t wait. Making excuses instead of making things better turns into an even bigger withdrawal. |
Forgive | Learn to forgive and to forget so that you don’t keep hurting yourself the way you were hurt. Don’t let yesterday hold your tomorrow hostage. Getting even or talking about other people’s failings won’t help you. |