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Habit 4
subtitle | important information |
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Module 11: Balance Courage and Consideration | -you can build effective relationships with people by working for their benefit and your own. -Habit 4: Think Win-Win is essential to your meaningful life, it's a basic principle of successful living. - By saying what Habit 4 isn't, it makes it easier |
Win-Lose | -If you're high on courage and low on consideration, you're always trying to be ahead of others or be better than other people. -You can't win unless other people lose. -You're proud. |
Lose-Win | -If you're low on courage and high on consideration, you're insecure. -You're not brave enough to stick up for yourself. -You say yes too fast, are easily taken advantage of, and bury a lot of feelings. -You're always looking for sympathy (Poor me!) |
Lose-Lose | -If you can't win, nobody wins. -You get revenge. -You envy others and criticize others. -You put other people down (and often yourself too). -"If i'm going down you're going down with me |
Win-Win or No Deal | -Here you go for win-win or no deal. -You're ready to walk away before someone loses including yourself. -Balancing courage and consideration is the way to help others feel good and for you to feel good to. |
Lose-Win | -You're low in courage and consideration. -You don't care if other people lose, nor do you have the courage to stand up for yoirself. - |
Win-Lose | -Low in consideration and high in ciurage. -You're bold but cold unsymparthetic, inconsiderate, unkind. -You want to gey ahead, be the best,and rise above even ig thstn mens steping on someone else to get there. -It'snot rnouh to succeed. -See life as com |
Win-Win or No deal | -You're high in couarageb and consideration. -Balancing courage and cinsiserationtakes proactive pateince,so don't give up too soon. |
Module 12:Make Deposits in Other People's Emotional Bank Accounts (EBAs) | -You can make deposits of kindness and helpfulness into others EBAs. -Making new friends is scary, and it risks you getting distant from your family and old friends. -If you're trying to make a new friend, or keep an old one, think about your relationship |
Module 12 continued | as a bank account in which you can make deposits and withdrawals, but in this case the deposits and withdrawals are emotional. -When you do something that helps the relationship, it's a deposit. -When you do something that hurts the relationship; withdraw |
Find out what a deposit is for the other person | -What you think is a deposit for the other person may in fact be a withdrawal in their mind, you won't know unless you find out. -The dean of a college hosted a holiday potluck luncheon for the staff, but it wasn't fun for the newer staff because they |
Find out what a deposit is for the other person continued | lived in small apartments with small kitchens and never really learned how to cook. There were all these home cooked meals and they were stuck trying to sneak in store bought food. -What good was a holiday party that didn't make a deposit into all EMBs |
Do Small Acts of Kindness | -A second deposit is to treat people with kindness. -The opposite the withdrawal is is to be unkind. -If you want to make friends take the initiative, and create connections while making deposits. -Never harass someone online or offline. -Leaders use |
Do Small Acts of Kindness continued | kindness and positivity as the currencies of influence; they do the little kindness and make friends. |
Keep Promises | -Nothing bankrupts the EBA faster even if the account has a huge balance than to break a serious promise. -With big withdrawals like lies, you break trust and it takes a long time to rebuild an EBA. -Always say what you're going to do and commit to it. |
Keep Confidences | -When someone shares something with you in confidence, keep it that way. -Be careful what you spread around social media about others. -Texting or posting photos can humiliate them and get you into lots of trouble |
Be Loyal to the Absent | -Avoid gossiping or backbiting. -If you bad-mouth someone, the people listening to you will wonder if you're doing the same to them behind their back. -If you hear someone bad-mouthing a friend, speak up. -Stick up for people |
Set Clear Expectations | -Don't leave things fuzzy. -With roommates "I'll make dinner this week if you'll clean the kitchen". -Follow through with what's expected. |
Apologize | -If you're in the wrong admit it now. . -Don't wait some people refuse to say they're sorry until the other person apologizes, or make up excuses for their behavior. -Making excuses instead of making things better turns into an even bigger withdrawal. |
Forgive | -Learn to forgive and to forget so that you don't keep hurting yourself the way you were hurt. -Don't let yesterday hold your tomorrow hostage. -Getting even or talking about other people's failing won't help you. |