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Habit 4 study guide
For Psyc 1300
| Title | Notes |
|---|---|
| Main Point: Habit 4: | Think Win-Win is about building effective relationships with people by working for their benefit while you are working for your own benefit. |
| Habit 4: | Think Win-Win is essential to your meaningful life. It’s a basic principle of successful living: You can’t win at life unless other people win, too. |
| Win-Lose: | ” If you’re high on courage and low on consideration, you’re always trying to get ahead of others or be better than other people. You’re proud. You can’t win unless other people lose |
| Lose-Win: | If you’re low on courage and high on consideration, you’re insecure. You’re not brave enough to stick up for yourself. You’re saying, “Have your way with me. Everybody else does.” You say yes too fast and are easily taken advantage of. |
| Lose-Lose: | “If I’m going down, you’re going down with me.” If you can’t win, nobody wins. You get revenge. You envy and criticize others. You put other people down (and often yourself, too). |
| Win-Win: | “We’re going to win together.” Here you go for win-win or no deal. You’re ready to walk away before someone loses—including yourself. Balancing courage and consideration is the way to help others feel good and for you to feel good too. |
| MODULE 12: MAKE DEPOSITS IN OTHER PEOPLE’S EMOTIONAL BANK ACCOUNTS (EBA) | Main Point: The key to making friends is to deposit acts of kindness and helpfulness in their Emotional Bank Accounts (and to avoid making withdrawals). |
| Find Out What a Deposit Is for the Other Person. | What you think is a deposit for the other person may in fact be a withdrawal in their mind. You won’t know unless you find out. |
| Do Small Acts of Kindness. | A second deposit is to treat people with kindness. The opposite— the withdrawal—is to be unkind, discourteous, and disrespectful. |
| Keep Promises. | Nothing bankrupts the EBA faster—even if the account has a huge balance— than to break a serious promise. That’s why it’s so important to make good on your word and be very careful before using the words “I promise” or “I commit.” |
| Keep confidences. | When someone shares something with you in confidence, keep it that way. Be careful about what you spread around about other people on social media. |
| Be loyal to the absent. | Avoid gossiping or backbiting. If you badmouth someone, the people listening to you will wonder if you’re doing the same to them behind their backs. Stick up for people. If you hear someone badmouthing a friend, speak up. |
| Set clear expectations | Don’t leave things fuzzy. With roommates: “I’ll make dinner this week if you’ll clean the kitchen.” Or with a study group: “We all need to read 100 pages by the next time we get together." |
| Apologize. | If you’re in the wrong, admit it now: “That was unkind of me, I apologize.” Don’t wait. Some people refuse to say they’re sorry until the other person apologizes, or they make up excuses for their behavior. |
| Forgive. | Learn to forgive and to forget so that you don’t keep hurting yourself the way you were hurt. Don’t let yesterday hold your tomorrow hostage. Getting even or talking about other people’s failings won’t help you. |