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Habit 4
| Win-win principle | You can't win at life unless other people win, too. What you do with your life is up to you, but please know helping others to win is just as important as your own win. |
| Lose-win principle | "I always get stepped on." If you're low on courage and high on consideration, you're insecure. |
| Lose-lose principle | "If I'm going down, you're going down with me." If you can't win, nobody wins. You get revenge. |
| Make deposits in other people's emotional bank accounts | The key to making friends is to deposit acts of kindness and helpfulness in their Emotional Bank Accounts. |
| Find out what a deposit is for the other person | What you think is a deposit for the other person may in fact be a withdrawal in their mind. |
| Do small acts of kindness | A second deposit is to treat people with kindness. |
| Keep promises | Nothing bankrupts the EBA faster than to break a serious promise. |
| Keep confidences | When someone shares something with you in confidence, keep it that way. |
| Be loyal to the absent | Avoid gossiping or backbiting. If you badmouth someone, the people listening to you will wonder if you're doing the same to them behind their packs. |
| Set clear expectations | Don't leave things fuzzy. Then follow through on what's expected. |
| Apologize | If you're in the wrong, admit it now. Don't wait. |
| Forgive | Learn to forgive and to forget so that you don't keep hurting yourself the way you were hurt. |