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Noogie
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SARA. I'm coming. Yes? | |
SARA. It depends. | |
SARA. Oh, my God! | |
SARA. I'm hallucinating. Please let me be hallucinating. | |
AUNT MARTHA. No. It's innovative and I wouldn't be at all surprised if one day it ended up as a reality TV series. | |
AUNT MARTHA. Well, I would start out with some small talk. You know, like what restaurants you like, what movies you've seen. | |
SARA. (Back on phone) You know what's scary, Aunt Martha. I have your genes. I can't believe this. How did you get him here? There are people on the streets, there's a doorman downstairs. | |
SARA. I said no! | |
SARA. My aunt was being kind. | |
SARA. Well, Noogie, you're going to be doing twenty years to life if you don't get out of here right now. | |
SARA. Out! | |
SARA. Listen, Lou, I'm not halfway through our client's records and it looks like he's an ...Real guilty is more like it. (SOUND: DOORBELL) There's someone at the door. I'll talk to you later. Anyway, it's going to be a tougher case than we thought. | |
SARA. Oh, no. | |
SARA. Tell me, I'm hallucinating. | |
SARA. With him? You took the subway with him? | |
AUNT MARTHA. I think she's softening. | |
SARA. (Point to door) I'm counting to ten, Noogie. | |
SARA. One! | |
SARA. Two! | |
SARA. Seven! | |
HEATHER. They certainly have. And the sooner Sara has someone, the sooner you'll stop getting bonked on the head. ... is to simply get a court order and con fine Aunt Martha to an institution of some sort. | |
BRANDON. Yeah. | |
HEATHER. I don't believe I've had the pleasure. | |
BRANDON. I took them. | |
BRANDON. No, you won't. You'll stay right here till we get a few things settled. | |
BRANDON. How do you feel about prison food? | |
SARA. I'm not taking the case. Look, Noogie. This head bonking has got to stop. | |
SARA. Surprise yourself. | |
SARA (CONTINUED) I should just let them get married, right? Even though they're absolutely wrong for each other. I'm so confused. Did I scare her away to get even or do I really like the guy? You tell me? | |
SARA. What? | |
SARA. Because I like my life. I like my freedom, I like my bathroom, I like my space... How soon can we get that ugly chair up here? The DOORBELL RINGS. Hold that thought. (Sara opens the door. It's Noogie) Oh, no. |