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Noogie

Cue LineBlank
SARA. I'm coming. Yes?
SARA. It depends.
SARA. Oh, my God!
SARA. I'm hallucinating. Please let me be hallucinating.
AUNT MARTHA. No. It's innovative and I wouldn't be at all surprised if one day it ended up as a reality TV series.
AUNT MARTHA. Well, I would start out with some small talk. You know, like what restaurants you like, what movies you've seen.
SARA. (Back on phone) You know what's scary, Aunt Martha. I have your genes. I can't believe this. How did you get him here? There are people on the streets, there's a doorman downstairs.
SARA. I said no!
SARA. My aunt was being kind.
SARA. Well, Noogie, you're going to be doing twenty years to life if you don't get out of here right now.
SARA. Out!
SARA. Listen, Lou, I'm not halfway through our client's records and it looks like he's an ...Real guilty is more like it. (SOUND: DOORBELL) There's someone at the door. I'll talk to you later. Anyway, it's going to be a tougher case than we thought.
SARA. Oh, no.
SARA. Tell me, I'm hallucinating.
SARA. With him? You took the subway with him?
AUNT MARTHA. I think she's softening.
SARA. (Point to door) I'm counting to ten, Noogie.
SARA. One!
SARA. Two!
SARA. Seven!
HEATHER. They certainly have. And the sooner Sara has someone, the sooner you'll stop getting bonked on the head. ... is to simply get a court order and con fine Aunt Martha to an institution of some sort.
BRANDON. Yeah.
HEATHER. I don't believe I've had the pleasure.
BRANDON. I took them.
BRANDON. No, you won't. You'll stay right here till we get a few things settled.
BRANDON. How do you feel about prison food?
SARA. I'm not taking the case. Look, Noogie. This head bonking has got to stop.
SARA. Surprise yourself.
SARA (CONTINUED) I should just let them get married, right? Even though they're absolutely wrong for each other. I'm so confused. Did I scare her away to get even or do I really like the guy? You tell me?
SARA. What?
SARA. Because I like my life. I like my freedom, I like my bathroom, I like my space... How soon can we get that ugly chair up here? The DOORBELL RINGS. Hold that thought. (Sara opens the door. It's Noogie) Oh, no.
Created by: karagoldberg