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Habit 4
| Main Point 1 | Think Win-Win is about building effective relationships with people by working for their benefit while you are working for your own benefit. |
| Win-Lose {Proud} | "I'm going to beat you no matter what" (high on courage, low on consideration) |
| Lose-Win {Insecure} | "I always get stepped on" (low on courage, high on consideration) |
| Lose-Lose {Revenge} | "If I'm going down, you're going down with me" (if you can't win, nobody can) |
| Win-Win {or no deal} | "We're going to win together" (balanced courage and consideration) |
| Main Point 2 | The key to making friends is to deposit acts of kindness and helpfulness in their Emotional Bank Accounts (and to avoid making withdrawals) |
| Find out what a deposit is for the other person | You may not have the same idea of a deposit as the other person... in fact a deposit for you may be a withdrawal for them |
| Do small acts of kindness | Don't be TOO kind, but small acts of kindness can make anyone's day |
| Keep promises | Nothing bankrupts the EBA (Emotional Bank Account) faster than not keeping a serious promise |
| Keep confidences | When someone shares something with you in confidence, keep it that way... don't spread it |
| Be loyal to the absent | No gossiping or talking behind someone's back. Stick up for people |
| Set clear expectations | Be clear with what you want and follow through on what is expected |
| Apologize | If you're in the wrong, admit it |
| Forgive | Learn to forgive and forget |