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Man Law


Rule 1 No wasted beer in the name of humor
Rule 2 Men never pay for birth control
Rule 3 If your best friend is dumped by a girl it is a 6 month waiting period till she can be touched. If he breaks up with her it’s a 6 day waiting period.
Rule 4 If two or more males arrived at a party by a single car, and the driving male is hooking up with a girl, it is the responsibility of the other males to find other ways home.
Rule 5 No short shorts
Rule 6 Every man shall allow one empty urinal of separation in a bathroom with three or more urinals; law is void if there are dividers in between each urinal.
Rule 7 If a girl and a guy are not officially dating then it can't be considered cheating. However...if the guy cheats with a girl that is less attractive to the one he is originally interested in then he is either... A) Drunk or B) a Dumbass
Rule 8 No one should ever steal a man's alcohol from that man's cooler...this is the only law that suffers the penalty of death.
Rule 9 When bringing condoms to a party it is a man's responsibility to pack two in his pockets and one in his car as a spare incase a friend is in desperate need.
Rule 10 No heavy fornication in a friend's bed. Or just wash the sheets.
Rule 11 No man shall every use a rolling backpack. If you can't carry the bag then you’re not a man.
Rule 12 If another man's fly is down, you didn't see anything and may not make a comment about it.
Rule 13 Physical injury to a buddy's borrowed equipment: Under $50, replace the item Over $50, buy him a case of beer
Rule 14 When your friend picks up a hot girl...however the hot girl has an ugly friend...it is only right that you operate as a wing man doing whatever it is you got to do to help your buddy have some time alone with the hot girl.
Rule 15 When calling shotgun, all riders of the car must be outside, and shotgun can only be called when the car is in view.
Rule 16 It is PAPER, ROCK, and SCISSORS with no shoot. If you must say shoot, it has to be agreed upon by both men and a witness has to be present and somewhat sober.
Rule 17 When toasting with beers you clank with the bottom.
Rule 18 You poke it you own it.
Rule 19 The head nod is an acceptable way to greet another guy when simply walking past. No words are needed to be said. An upward nod is for friends, a downward nod is for fellow men.
Rule 20 If a man is on vacation to a state that does not border his own, or any other country, it is not considered cheating if he so chooses to engage in sexual activity with a girl other than his girlfriend. Girlfriends may not agree.
Rule 21 A man should not masturbate more than 3 times in a day to insure being ready for any unknown or known late night action. Assisting Girls does not count… rule is in exception if male party is in a bet to set a record of number of times in a day.
Rule 22 A man shall never wear any article of women's clothing (I.E … Girls Jeans/Pants!) unless they are the loser of such a bet… or if a man is figuratively in a girls pants… (Or any other article of clothing).
Rule 23 No man in any circumstance, unless mocking a violator of this law, should pop his collar.
Rule 24 A man should never be denied the right to adjust himselfA man should never be denied the right to adjust himself or place his hands down his pants under any circumstances. or place his hands down his pants under any circumstances.
Rule 25 Being a Pirate should be considered a Manly job because pirates get two types of booty.
Rule 26 All men must eat meat.
Rule 27 Every man is required to learn some form of Poker before he dies.
Rule 28 If a man ever does something wrong a simple "OOPS", "My Bad", or any variations of cuss words that get the point across will suffice, no need to say "I'm Sorry"
Rule 29 No man should ever hook up with his best friend's girl, no matter how hot she is. This is in effect while they are dating or "together." If they are separated refer to Law 3 for the proper way to handle the situation.
Rule 30 No cockblocking. Violations will result in the title of manbitch.
Rule 31 Every man should watch sports center at least once a day, though multiple viewings are recommended so that one can hold his own in any debate on sports that may arise that day.
Rule 32 Under no circumstances shall any man lay a hand on a female or a child in violence.
Rule 33 If a woman is present whether family or friend no man under any circumstances shall make their own food or pour their own drinks unless it is a special holiday
Rule 34 No man shall ever watch a soap opera ever! Period! If this law is broken, it will result in the lowering of status from man to Manbitch and the questioning of the liking of opposite gendered relationships.
Rule 35 Women can't drive.
Rule 36 In the court of Man Law the statement "I was Drunk" will have the same effect as an insanity plea (reduced punishment) in standard court provided the defendant's blood alcohol level exceeds .10.
Rule 37 If any male is caught violating a Man Law in serious context, as a form of punishment he should be disowned of his manly name, only to receive the title of "Manbitch" from his peers and colleagues.
Rule 38 Any man that is old enough and is not in the military should at least support the troops, even if you don’t agree with the war they are your country men fighting to protect you and you should show them your support
Rule 39 No more crushing of empty beer cans or your forehead. Modern, thinner cans make the feat less impressive than with cans of years past.
Rule 40 If you take beer to a party the tuck rule is in play when leaving, you may take one beer max, but only if the beer will fit in your pocket.
Rule 41 Do not have a conversation at a urinal.
Rule 42 A man will not live in his parent’s house past the age of 27 unless they are ill or he is in the war.
Rule 43 All men have the right to remain silent when asked by a woman "do you like this". And the right to leave the room.
Rule 44 Sex is more important then talking
Rule 45 No man under any circumstance shall use lip balm.
Rule 46 Grilling regardless of weather is always the first choice for cooking.
Rule 47 No man shall ever own a dog smaller then a housecat
Rule 48 Men will invite other men to Man Law
Rule 49 No man shall ever turn down free beer because "it’s not their brand."
Rule 50 No man shall be shamed if they are passed out with their shoes off in your place. If the person passes out outside of the house, then they are fair game shoes or not.
Created by: Wishbone