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Love and Compassion

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Who are the attachment theory pioneers mentioned in class?   John Bowlby, Mary Ainsworth, (Cindy Hazan and Phil Shaver)  
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John Bowlby   founded modern attachment theory on studies of children and their caregivers  
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Mary Ainsworth   developed the Strange Situation to assess attachment styles in infants and toddlers.  
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(Cindy Hazan and Phil Shaver)   contended that the quality of this initial attachment with caregivers may influence later relationships.  
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What are the four attachment styles in Kim Bartholomew’s framework?   Secure Anxious-Preoccupied Dismissive-Fearful Dismissive- Avoidance  
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Secure   positive to self, positive to others  
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Anxious-Preoccupied   negative to self, positive to others.  
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Dismissive-Fearful   negative to self, negative to others.  
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Dismissive-Avoidant   positive to self, negative to others.  
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What are the three parts of the Robert Sternberg’s triangular theory of love?   Intimacy, Passion, Commitment  
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Intimacy   close, connected, bounded feelings of warmth.  
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Passion   romantic, sexual, physical drives.  
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Commitment   short and long term intentions to maintain love for one another.  
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John Lee’s “Love Styles” Conceptual Model of Love   Attempted to embrace conceptions of love that go beyond intimate partner relationships. Attempted to integrate historical and philosophical conceptions of love  
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What are John Lee’s six styles of love?   Eros,Ludus,Storge,Pragma,Mania,Agape  
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Eros   is passionate love, where the lover idealizes the partner, has definite preferences for physical characteristics in a partner, and pursues love with intensity.Ex HallyBerry and Brad Pitt in Troy  
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Ludus   is love played as a game, for mutual enjoyment, without the intensity of eros. Ludus is short on commitment, and the “game of love” can occur with multiple partners simultaneously. ex James Bond and Paris Hilton  
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Storge   is friendship love and is analogous to companionate love, which is the affection felt by two people whose lives are deeply intertwined.Ex Friends tv show  
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Pragma   is practical love; it involves “shopping” for a mate with a list of desired qualities in hand (e.g., match.com). It involves looking for a mate based on practical or economic motives. ex.Ana Nicole with old man  
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Mania   is “manic” love. A manic lover desperately wants love but often finds that it is painful. Thus, “stormy passion” is an apt descriptor, and a cycle of jealousy, dramatic breakups, and equally dramatic reconciliations characterize this love style.Fatal Attr  
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Agape   is selfless and giving love where the person is fully concerned with the partner’s welfare. It is often associated with a divine or higher form of love. ex. Mother Theresa Angolina Jolie  
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What are the four components of compassion?   An awareness of the suffering of another, An identification with the suffering of another, An understanding of the suffering of another, A desire to reduce the suffering of another  
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4 ways to Increase Compassion   Awareness of one’s own experience&suffering,Awareness of suffering of others,Looking for simularities between people-we all can feel pain &can suffer,Idendify sourses of suffring in yr life&identify others who suffer with the same kinds of things.  
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Becoming aware of one’s own experience and suffering.   Increasing authenticity or the congruence betwn yr inner experience and awareness. This may increase the ability to understand and have empathy for others. Journaling, meditation, and some forms of psychotherapy may help.  
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Becoming aware of the suffering of others.   Paying attn to suffering of other people. Talking with and trying to understand people who are going through hard times. Reading about and watching stories of people who have faced great hardship  
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Looking for the similarities betwn people – we all feel pain and can suffer.   The idea that some experiences are universal is a central idea of how grp therapy works. We can focus on diff in skin (or even eye) color.We all have a similar experience of joy, pain, fear, and hope – Insula and mirror neurons.  
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Identify the sources of suffering in your life and dentifying others who suffer with the same kinds of things.   Ex.of depression,substances use, racial discrimination. Expand the circle to include other kinds of suffering and other kinds of people.  
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