Family Med Final
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| uncontested divorce | mutually agreed for divorce and lived separately for one year OR one person wants divorce and lived separately for two years.
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| purpose of uncontested divorce | must have written separation agreement. must show no hope of reconciliation, and intend to end the marriage.
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| contested divorce | parties cannot mutually agree on one or more points. in a divorce petition, they are settled in courts.
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| grounds for divorce in the state of maryland | one year's mutual and voluntary separtation, two year's involuntary separation, adultery, desertion, conviction of a felony or misdemeanor, insanity.
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| temporary separation agreement: what is it? | short-term agreement for immediate issues like: short-term parenting plan, use of possession, who's going to live in the house, what access will other parent have to the house, etc.
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| temporary separation agreement: who uses it? | used temporarily while couples go through process of mediation
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| temporary separation agreement: status quo of arrangements | most things stay the same as before divorce mediation
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| fears about temporary separation agreements | key to temporary agreement NOT setting a precedent (things are not set in stone) to manage this, you must have a clause in the agreement that states that there is not a precedent
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| emotional/psychological process of divorce | process that people go through when they decide to get divorced.
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| emotional/psychological stage of divorce: stage 1 | dissillusionment of one party (1-2 years before verbalized) vague feelings of discontentment, arguments, stored resentment, breaches of trust
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| emotional/psychological process of divorce: stage 2 | expressing dissatisfaction (8-12 months before invoking legal process)
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| emotional/psychological process of divorce: stage 3 | deciding to divorce (6-12 months before invoking legal process)
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| emotional/psychological process of divorce: stage 4 | acting on decision (beginning the legal process)
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| emotional stages of separation and divorce: stage 1 | denial. can't believe the relationship is over.
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| emotional stages of separation and divorce: stage 2 | shock and disbelief. pain, numbness, feeling out of control, mood swings, panic, rage, relief, optimism, freedom, dispair, anxiety
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| emotional stages of separation and divorce: stage 3 | initial adjustment. ability of people to actively adapt to this new phase of their lives.
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| emotional stages of separation and divorce: stage 4 | active reorganization. centers around how people live their lives and cope with the tasks of suddenly being single.
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| emotional stages of separation and divorce: stage 5 | life reformation. passing through to the "other" side of divorce.
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| emotional stages of separation and divorce | denial, shock and disbelief, intial adjustment, active reorganization, life reformation.
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| children's reaction to divorce | intensely stressful regardless of age or developmental level. many unprepared for impending divorce. support systems typically dissolve. specific emotional issues.
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| emotional issues of children of divorced families | sense of vulnerability, grief reaction to the loss of intact family, loss of non-custodial parent, anger, powerlessness.
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| reactions to divorce: preschool (3-5) | a regression of the most recent developmental milestone achieved. sleep disturbances, yearning for the non-custodial parent.
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| reactions to divorce: early latency (6-8) | often openly grieve for the departed parent, preoccupation with fantasies.
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| reactions to divorce: late latency (8-11) | anger and feelings of powerlessness
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| reactions to divorce adolescence (12-18) | prone to responding to their parents' divorce with acute depression, suicidal ideation, and sometimes violent acting out episodes.
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| family systems theory | developed out of general systems theory. interdependence of parts. change in one part of the system affect change in other. families are a system (structures, boundaries, rules, patterns)
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| rules and guidelines for divorce mediation | information about process, content, expectations/rules.
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| parenting plans: general issues | focus on the future. avoid assigning fault or blame. determine roles and expectations. use neutral professionals. discover real needs. avoid legal terminology.
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| parenting plans: what you want to do as a mediator | create a positive atmosphere. move from competition to co-parenting. move from positional bargaining to meet needs. abandon conflict and concentrate on parenting. rebuild trust through small steps.
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| parenting plans: agenda | access to information and people, medical emergencies, daily schedule, holidays, vacations, transportation, parental change of residence, decision making, renegotiation, conflict resolution.
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| legal custody | decision making about the child.
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| physical custody | where the child primarily lives (based on number of night spent)
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| 4 steps in dividing property | list, vauation, philosophy of division, division.
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| dividing property: list | use disclosure form, stress importance of full disclosure, big ticket items only
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| dividing property: valuation | what are the different things worth?
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| steps of dividing property: philosophy of division | talk about the concept of marital and non-marital. in mediation, people can use whatever standards are fair to them.
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| steps of dividing property: division | actual divison. go item by item and divide things.
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| marital vs. non-marital properties | some things people had before they got married, and that is still their stuff and is not supposed to be split during the property division process.
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| marital property | all property acquired by either spouse since the marriage except gifts, inheritance, someone's plan, or descent inheritance.
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| exception to marital property | when increase in the value of property acquired to the marriage have resulted from active ownership.
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| maryland law (property) | maryland is an "equitable division state". all marital property acquired during the marriage should be divided equitably, but not necessarily 50-50. based on fairness.
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| courts divide property according to | length of marriage, age, health, skills, abilities of parties, amount of separate property owned by each spouse, relative ability to acquire property in the future, financial needs and liabilities of parties in the future.
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| experts to use in process of property division | realtors, appraisers, financial planners, accountants, insurance agents, specialitsts in valuation business, actuaries and experts on pension plans.
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| bank accounts | determine what accounts exist and how much is in them. clients should not empty bank accounts during the process of mediation.
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| accounts receivable | money loaned to friends. when repaid it becomes joint money.
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| stock bonds, other investments | can use cpa as neutral expert for division options.
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| real estate | 3 options. sell now and divide proceeds. one spouse buy out other's interest. own jointly for now and agree to date for future sale or buyout. (if buyout, valuation can be determined by appraiser or realtor)
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| life insurance | is it term or cash value insurance? if cash value, it is treated like cash in the bank.
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| business interests | by law in most states, both parties share an interest in any business owned by one of them, even if the other never worked in that business, and even if not listed as one of the legal owners.
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| retirements/pensions/employee benefit programs | use neutral financial planner or pension expert. under federal law, retirement account can be divided in connection with the divorce decree without any penalties or tax consequences. an attorney must draft in qualified domestic relations order (qdro)
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| tax refunds | ask clients if they will get a refund, and if so, how much. figure out who will be responsible for potential liability or benefit.
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| household furnishings and personal property | divide in half OR one client receives more and pays cash value to the other. they should list their preferences, then exchange and review lists.
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| debts and liabilities | each client assumes responsibility for some OR one client assumes responsibility and gets credit for it somewhere else. have clients identify all debts and amounts and document. if they are seriously in debt, refer to consumer credit counseling, etc.
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| budgeting: why do it? | need to figure out how to meet monthly expenses separately, one or both will be in new living arrangements, assesssing levels of support, allows clients to view needs, etc.
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| budgeting: what to help the client with during the process? | defining standards and fairness, budgeting expenses, determining net income, accessing the shortfall, considering ways to decrease expenses, ways to increase income, eventually addressing child and spousal support
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| 1988 family support act | child support not on whim of judge, mathematical guidelines and standardization done by state.
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| auto-insurance and college education discussion | optional. for whom, how long?
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| shared custody | more than 35% of overnights with each parent per year (128 overnights per year)
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| sole custody | less than 35% overnights per year with one parent, and the rest with the other parent (127 or fewer overnights)
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| court-ordered alimony: rehabilitative | lasts for a fixed amount of time. gives the person who is receiving it to become self-supporting.
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| court-ordered alimony: indefinite | is indefinite. court finds: due to physical condition party cannot become self-supporting, OR significantly different standards of living.
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| alimony ending | when either party dies. when the receiver of alimony remarries. when the court determines that the alimony needs to end in the interest of fairness.
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| tax breaks associated with spousal support | when there is a fairly large difference in incomes there is a benefit to making more payments in the spousal support category in the form of tax break. certain amount of money as spousal support is tax deductible and could lower them in tax bracket.
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| life insurance discussion | optional. purpose is that when a parent dies it provides the remaining parent and children in such a way that they don't have to cut back or go without anything the family is used to.
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| health insurance discussion | optional. comes up as a standard issue in divorce mediation. usually one spouse and children covered under other spouse. that can continue until the divorce decree, but not after (exception-certain military retirement situation)
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| taxes discussion | optional. who claims child exemption, how will tax return be filed, etc.
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| domestic violence: cycle of violence | tention-building phase, battering incident, honeymoon phase (will never happen again, flowers, make-up sex)
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| domestic violence: characteristics of abusers | jealous, possesive, stereotypical or negative attitudes toward opposite sex, minimizes or rationalizes adverse behaviors, feels victim deserves abuse, denies problem, has "short fuse" and no anger management, need power and control over victim
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| domestic violence: characteristics of abused | low self-esteem, worthlessness, depressed, hopelessness, complaint, defers to abuser, minimizes or rationalizes abuser, feels responsible for abuse, helpless, unable to problem solve
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| reasons to avoid mediation with domestic abuse | safety (if violence is still occuring or has potential to reoccur, parties are still living together, mediator is uncomfortable, alcohol or drug usage) fairness (one party is fearful of the other where they cannot negotiate to best interest, power issue)
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| domestic violence: reasons to mediate | different types of violence, power must be rebalanced, can be therapeutic, agreements have greater compliance rate, can model good communication, can learn better ways to deal with each other
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| domestic violence: main screening points | is there a history, capable of decision making, fear of other person, further traumatization, substantial gains/benefits
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| domestic violence: things to look for in a session | deferrence by one party, maintaining eye contact, overt aggressiveness, veiled threats, voice raising, submissiveness, fearfulness of one party
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| domestic violence: ethical considerations | violence is non-negotiable, do not harm supersedes doing well, increased violence to any party, ability to negotiate, decision competence, safety, substantial gain or benefit from all parties
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| domestic violence: safety precautions | arrival and departure procedures, safe site, no weapons, rules, caucusing, encourage parties to have support persons, encourage parties to have attorneys available.
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| termination | If termination is necessary, proceed carefully, do not place blame on either party, do not share information with other party, use skills to frame an acceptable reason to terminate mediation. (Make something up to terminate the mediation)
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| addictions: deciding to take on a client | is the client able to take on his/her best interests, safety or health concern?
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| addictions: special considerations as a mediator | ground rules, assess in the beginning, consult professional if necessary, referrals
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| maternal preference doctrine: prior to 1979 | In custody disputes between parents, mothers were better fit to be custodial parents. In 1978 Maryland court of appeals abolished that presumption
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| community property | property is divided equally
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| full disclosure | when dealing w/ money both parties must list all income and assets
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| mediator's role in budgeting | help fill out budgeting forms, make sure both parties fill out forms, normalizes cw/ the budget, prepares a spreadsheet of both people’s expenditures, verifies couples #s, determines the size of the gap
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| closing the budget gap | reducing expenses: each person thinks about his/her expenses, reduce on more flexible items. increasing income: extra help while one gets certified, check w/ expert
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| hayne's 3 methods for dividing property | equitable division, community property, title
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| equitable distribution | the property is divided equitably based on criteria established by legislature. judges get a wide leeway but they do consider the length of the marriage, contribution of each spouse
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| title | some states require whoever has the the title to the property is the owner
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| arc formula for parent moving | if one parent moves and does not want to take the kids the visitation is determined by the proximity arc. the smaller the arc, the more they can visit.
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| flexible agreements | provides for ongoing mutual decision making w/ formulas to use when different circumstances arise, allows for easy alteration
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| structured agreements | everything from times and places are clearly spelled out in the agreement
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