Question | Answer |
Listening | The process of making sense of others' unspoken messages.
Giving meaning to sound. |
Hearing | The process by which sound waves strike the eardrum and cause vibrations that are transmitted to the brain.
Physiological dimension of listening.
First step. |
Mindless listening | When we react to others' messages automatically and routinely , without much mental investment. |
Mindful listening | Giving careful and thoughtful attention and responses to the messages we receive. |
Attending | The psychological process of filtering out some messages and focusing on others.
Second step. |
Understanding | When we make sense of a message.
Third step. |
Listening fidelity | The degree of congruence between what a listener understands and what the message sender was attempting to communicate. |
Responding | Giving observable feedback to the speaker.
Fourth step. |
Remembering | Ability to recall information.
Fifth step. |
Types of Ineffective Listening | Pseudolisteing,
Stage-hogging,
Selective listening,
Insulated listening,
Defensive listening,
Ambushing,
Insensitive listening. |
Pseudolistening | Imitation of listening - an act to fool the speaker, giving the appearance of being attentive. |
Stage-hogging aka "conversational narcissists" | Trying to turn the topic of conversations to themselves instead of showing interest in the speaker. |
Shift-response | Changing the focus of the conversation from the speaker to the narcissist. |
Selective listening | Responding only to the parts of your remarks that interest them, rejecting everything else. |
Insulated listening | Failing to hear or acknowledge information they'd rather not deal with.
Opposite of selective hearing. |
Defensive listening | Taking others' remarks as personal attacks. |
Ambushing | Listening carefully to you, but only because they're collecting information that they'll use to attack what you say.
E.g. Debates |
Insensitive listening | Responding to the superficial content in a message but miss the more important emotional information that may not be expressed directly.
E.g. A: "How's it going?"
B: "Oh, okay I guess"
A: "Well, great!" |
Reasons why we don't listen better: | Message overload,
Preoccupation,
Rapid thought,
Too much effort,
External noise,
Faulty assumptions,
Lack of apparent advantages,
Lack of training,
Hearing problems. |
Types of listening responses: | Prompting,
Questioning,
Paraphrasing,
Supporting,
Analyzing,
Advising,
Judging. |
Prompting | Using silences and brief statements of encouragement to draw others out. |
Questioning | Asking for information.
Helps fill in facts and sharpen understanding,
Learn what others are thinking and feeling,
And encourage self-discovery. |
Sincere Questions | Aimed at understanding others. |
Counterfeit Quesitons | Aimed at sending a message, not receiving one. |
Paraphrasing aka "active listening" | Restating in your own words the message you thought the speaker just sent, without adding anything new. |
Supporting | Reveals a listener's solidarity with the speaker's situation. |
5 Types of Support | 1. Empathizing
2. Agreement
3. Offers to help
4. Praise
5. Reassurance |
Analyzing | The listener offers and interpretation of a speaker's message. |
Advising | Help by offering a solution. |
Judging | Response evaluates the sender's thoughts or behaviors in some way. |