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Stack #4737655
| Question | Answer |
|---|---|
| . | Hello. Mrs. Bunterson? |
| Hunterson. Who are you? | I'm your doctor? I'm Doctor Pomatter. You brought a pie? Gah, you know, I'veonly been in town a few weeks I'm already-- I am-- I am so impressed with the geuine hospitality of the place. |
| You're not my docto Lily Perkins is my doctor. This pie is for her. It's her favorite. Mermaid Marshmallow | I am sorry to say she's not seeing any patients. She is semi-retired now |
| What | Long story. Making it short. I'm the junior doctor on staff I am from Connecticut. I just moved here two weeks ago. -Are you bored yet |
| -Yes. No. | I'm so sorry. Anyway, if you're not comfortable having me as your doctor... that's fine. My feelings will not be hurt. You can just go and you can get yourself another gynecologist in the area. |
| But Dr. Perkins delivered me. She's been my doctor forever. I really like and trust her. | Maybe you can really like and trust me, too? |
| It doesn't happen that fast, but I'll try. | Okay. Okay, that's good. I'm your doctor. -It's nice to met you, Mrs. Bunterson. |
| -Hunterson. | Hunterson |
| . | So what seems to be the problem? |
| -Well, I seem to be pregnant. | -Well, hey, that's good. It's great. It's good for you. Congratulations. |
| Thanks, but I don't want this baby. | Okay. I can refer you to a doctor who performs-- |
| so maybe you could be sensitive and not congratulate me and make a big deal every time you see me. I'm having the baby, that's that. It's not a party, though. | Not a party. yes |
| Excuse me, Doctor. Mrs. Fanning wants to talk to you about doulas before she leaves. | -Doulas? -Mm-hmm Yeah, I have no idea what that is. No, come on. I'm only joking. Of course I know what that is |
| -Mm-hmm. -[mouths]And here are Mrs. Hunterson's blood test results. | Well... un-congratulations. You're definitely having a baby. |
| Well, un-thank you | Do you have any concerns? You know, do's and don'ts? Exercise or sex? |
| Don't really do much of either. | Okay. Here's your prescription for your pre-natal vitamins. Nurse Norma is just gonna give you a list of the good and the bad foods. That's just like caffeine and alcohol and et cetera. It's very nice- |
| (applause) | -it's very nic meeting you, Jenna. I'm gonna-- I'm gonn see you again, you know in three weeks |
| -I do have one question. | -Yeah. Yeah, sh**t. |
| How pregnant am I? | Very I mean, there's really only one degree of pregnancy, so to speak |
| No, no. [laughs] I mean how far along? [laughs] | You're eight weeks, Give or take. |
| Okay, so I don't start showing for a while, right? | Right |
| -Good, then I have a little time | Although it is quite beautiful, you know, -when a woman's body begins to- |
| -Yeah, yeah, yeah. -Dr. Pomatter? | -Yeah? |
| I'm gonna gie you this pie. | Oh, that looks absolutely delicious. I am off sugar It actually causes leptin resistance, chromium deficiency, decreased longevity |
| My mama used to say you can live to be 100 if you give up all the things that make ou want to live to be 100. | Well the longer you're away from sugar the less you crave it. I haven't had a piece of pie in years |
| getting Out Of The Mud ud pie. Generous scoops of moch almond ice cream... | -Uh, hello. |
| -...topped with bittersweet chocolate morsels... | -Mrs. Hunterson? |
| -...and slivered almonds. | -Mrs. Hunterson? |
| -Dr. Pomatter. -Hi. | -Hi. |
| What are you doing here? | My car wouldn't start this morning. I took the bus. Forgot how much I love buss. Do you always take the bus? |
| Tuesday nights my husband goes out drinking with he boys. | Oh, nice. For him. That you let him. |
| Yeah. [laughs I love Tuesdays Where do you live? | Stanton Grove |
| Oh, gosh, it's nice over there. | Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure, if you like You know. No, I mean, who doesn't like trees? You mind if I sit down? |
| No, not at all | -So, you're a waitress? |
| -Yeah, I'm a waitress. | Ah. Where do you work? |
| A little place off of Highway 7. Joe's Pie Diner. We serve 27 different varieties of pie. | Wow. That sounds like a virtual pie factory. |
| No, I make all the pies fresh every morning. Breakfast pies and lunch pies and a special new pie I invent every day. | Wait, did you make that marshmallow pie that you gave me? |
| Yes, I did. Mermaid Marshmallow. I invented it with my mom when I was nine years old. In my mermaid phase. | That was probably the best pie that I have tasted in my entire life. |
| You tried it? [gasps] Well, I won't tell your doctor. | No. No, seriously. It was biblically good. This is how good that was. That pie could win contest and ribbons and things. |
| What a thing to say. | I am so sorry That was a compliment. |
| No, I know. That's why it made me uncomfortable. | Oh, God. No, you're blushing. Nope, nope, shouldn't have said that. No, you know, it's kinda funny. |
| it was nice talking with you, Dr. Pomatter. Yeah, Jenna, | give me a call anytime. I'm here. For all your questions and concerns. |
| . | -Yes. Yes. |
| -Hello? Hi. | -Hi. Hi. |
| -Where is everybody? | -No one's here yet. I came in a little early to see you. |
| Oh. OKay. Oh, here. I brought you some Believe Again Poppy Seed Pocket pies. | Oh, my God. Thank you. Um, so, you know, we spoke on the phone and you said that the bleeding was very mild? |
| -Yes. | -Has that stopped? |
| Yeah. I only saw it the one time. | Oh, good. You're fine. Oh, my God! |
| Well, aren't you going to examine me? | No. No. No need. This is unbelievably delicious. I mean, delicious is not even a good enough word for what it is. What you do with food, it is unearthly. |
| -Thank you. | Yeah |
| Then am I okay? I mean, there's nothing's wrong with me? | Oh, God, no, no, no. Nothing's wrong with you. Look, light spotting is a perfect normal symptom in early pregnancy. Holy sh*t |
| Is that everything you have to say? | No |
| -Well, what? | Nothing. You can-- you can go. I'm just gonna-- I'm gonna go ahead and I'm gonna see you at your next regularly scheduled appointment. Don't hesitate to call if you have any-- |
| -Questions or concerns. | -Any and all. |
| I had to get up early and take a bus and walk five blocks just to hear that spotting is a perfectly normal symptom? | I have no response to that |
| What time does this office normally open, Doctor? -8:30? | -9:00. |
| 9:00? You came in here two hours early to tell me that spottin is a perfectly normal symptom in early pregnancy? | It sems that way, yes. |
| -Godbye, Dr. Pomatter. | -Bye, Jenna. |
| You know what? I think you're strange. And I'm not sure I want you to be my doctor anymore. -You make me uncomfortable. | -No, Jenna, no. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I will not do it anymore. Look, whatever it is that I do, you should not be uncomfortable during this time. |
| -You're doing it again! -Wait, what did I do? I don't know, you know, it's the nice guy talky thing you do. You just-- forget it. | Jen-- Uh, Jenna, you forgot your-- |
| Oh, how nice, you brought a pie. What kind is it? A Little Wild, Wild Berry pie. -Oh, well, thank you | -No, thank you. Thank you, Nurse Norma. I'm gonna take Mrs. Hunterson's blood. I need you to go and reweigh Mrs. Morrissey. |
| -But I already did that. | -Can you please? Please! It's important. It's like it's crucial. She's coming, Mrs. Morrisey! Don't worry! |
| I don't know what the hell this man talking about. Ain't nothing but a country club doctor. | -Don't do that again. |
| -What? Bring a pie? | No, not that. Of course not that. I meant go away for a full month and not call me. |
| Well, I didn't have any questions or concerns. | Well, don't do that. |
| This is craziness, Dr. Pomatter. | Can you please call me Jim? |
| No! I won't. | Okay. Don't. You know? Dr. Pomatter is fine. I guess we're just officially forgetting everything that happened between us then. |
| Yes. We officially are. | Jenna, I got to apologize for it. No, no, no, no. I almost called you just to apologize. I just want you to know that it's never gonna happen again. All right? From now on our relationship, it's a strictly medical, professioal one. |
| . | Jenna, no! Not with the door open |
| Oh! [applause] Mrs. Morrissey still weigh 142 pounds. | Thank you, Nurse Norma. Mrs. Hunterson, are you still taking your pre-natal vitamins every day? |
| -Oh, faithfully. | -Faithfully, my a*s. [applause] Well, good. I'd like you to come back again tomorrow. |
| We're on the same page. | -We're all on the same page. |
| I wish I could just run away. What kind of mama is that? [Jim] | Jenna |
| What are you doing here? You can't just come here. | I had to see you. It's been weeks. I can't take this not knowing how you are. |
| -Dr. Pomatter, we have to end this. | Why |
| Because I've been thinking a lot while you were away with your wife and I can't live with myself. | But, Jenna, I'm not gonna have a conversation about how crazy this is, about how bad my judgment is, about how sorry I am. I'd be lying. |
| I don't know how to do this. I haven't felt anything like this. I haven't felt in a very long time. | Neither have I. |
| So what now? | Maybe you can teach me how to make a pie. |
| -Seriously? | -Yeah, seriously. |
| Okay. Sure, I could do that. | Okay, I brought you something. It's a-- it's a present. |
| -For me? | -Yeah. For you. Open it. |
| Oh, my God. | I had your name engraved on the back. |
| Oh, wow. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. | It's deep dish. Non-stick. |
| Thank you. I have some gorgeous blackberries. | -I love blackberries. I love them. |
| She had hundreds of different kinds and they all had real strange names. | Like mama, like daughter. |
| Sugar And butter And flour And mother What the hell are you doing here? | I'm learning how to make Lonely Chicago pie. |
| No, I mean here. Living in this town. | My wife is-- she's doing her residency. We came here because of her. |
| Are you happy with her? No, don't-- don't answer that. | I-- I'm not used to happy. I tend to be neurotic. You calm me down. [soft music] You make me feel... peaceful and even needed. You are so beautiful. |
| . | Jenna, everything's gonna to be okay. |
| Just make it all go away. | Look, just try and ocus on your breathing. I'm gonna be right here. |
| Wheel me in. | Excuse me, sir. Do you belong here? |
| -Hey, come on now, babe. -You're spitting on the lens. -Doctor Pomatter. | -Yes, Jenna? |
| -I want to make sure we're clear about one thing. | -What's that, Jenna? |
| -I want drugs. I want massive amounts of drugs. [bag pops] I want the maximum legal limit of drugs. | -Noted and understood. |
| Hi, I'm Francine Pomatter. Jim has told me so much about you. | Did I tell you my wife is a resident here? |
| Is she gonna be here the whole delivery? I mean, are all the residents gonna be here | No, no, no, no. They're just here to observe the first stage of labor. Everybody out. |
| We could have a big drama that gets drawn out here for a couple years and makes everyone miserable, or we could end it right here. No body count. | So this is goodbye. |
| I will never forget you. | Another lifetime. |
Created by:
Mock