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HDF Ch. 5
Love and Choosing a Life Partner
| Question | Answer |
|---|---|
| Partner Selection | process of choosing a partner with the intention of forming a marriage or committed relationship; socially responsible, respectful, and emotionally-supported |
| Paul Amato (2007) defines love as | "a strong emotional bond with another person that involves sexual desire, a longing to be with the person, a preference to put the other person's interests ahead of one's own and a willingness to forgive the other person's transgressions" |
| Western culture's definition of love reflects a | heteronormative bias, which means love is thought about as something that can occur only between different sex partners -"love bias" starts as early as preschool |
| Commitment | is a willingness to work through problems and conflicts as opposed to calling it quits when problems arise; investing in relationship, attend to each other |
| Men fall in love more quickly than women; they say | " i love you" first |
| According to breakups- women are | more resilient |
| At least one in five teens experiences some shifts in | sexual orientation |
| Sternberg's Triangle Theory of Love - 3 components necessary to authentic love | `1. intimacy 2. passion 3. commitment -All 3= consummate love |
| Intimacy | refers to "close, connected, and bonded feelings in a loving relationship" -develops more slowly |
| Passion | "the drives that lead to romance, physical attraction, sexual consummation and the like" -quickest to develop and to fade |
| Commitment | "decision component of love"-deciding to maintain the love , more gradually still |
| Secure Attachment Style | stronger interpersonal skills and better prospects for a committed relationship |
| Insecure/ Anxious Attachment Style | "fear of abandonment" with negative behaviors like jealousy or attempts to control partner |
| Avoidant Attachment Style | leads one to pass up or shun closeness and intimacy by evading relationships, demonstrating ambivalence, seeming preoccupied or reject romance and expressing hostile attitudes |
| 6 love styles | 1. eros 2. storge 3. pragma 4. agape 5. ludus 6. mania |
| Eros | greek word meaning love |
| storge | an affectionate, companion style of loving |
| pragma | potential partners assets and liabilities "arranged marriages" |
| agape | emphasizes unselfish concern for a beloved's needs even when it requires personal sacrifice |
| ludus | focuses on love as play or fun, flirtation, playful sexuality |
| mania | wild or violent , obsession or a craze; extremely jealous and moody |
| 3 things love is not | 1. martyring 2. manipulating 3. limerence |
| Martyring | involves maintaining relationships by consistently minimizing one's needs while trying to satisfy those of one's partner |
| limerence | fantasize about being with the limerent object or developing a relationship with them |
| transnational marriage | the marriage of people from 2 different countries |
| bride-price | money or property that the future groom pays the future bride's family so that he can marry her |
| exchange model of mate selection | women traded the ability to bear and raise children, coupled with domestic duties, sexual accessibility and physical attractiveness, for a man's protection, status, and economic support |
| assortative mating | posits that partner selection involves narrowing down the possibilities until a suitable partner is found; geographic availability, sociodemographic, physical attraction |
| pool of eligible | a group of individuals who are unmarried or unpartnered |
| people tend to form committed relationships with people of similar | race, age, education, religious background and social class |
| endogamy | marrying within one's own social group |
| inter-ethnic relationships are most likely to develop when | young adults are independent of parental influence of when their partners have an ethnically diverse network of friends |
| A partner's physical attractiveness influences romantic relationships more strongly for men than women | most individuals marry a partner of similar physical attractiveness as their own -most important partner-selection criteria; less important as people grow older |
| Selection Hypothesis | assumes that people who cohabit are different from those who do not; these differences translate into higher divorce rates |
| Normalization Hypothesis | since cohabitation is very common, it was thought that the positive relationship between cohabitation and divorce would diminish over time |
| Experience hypothesis | posits that cohabitating experiences themselves affect individuals so that, once married, more likely to divorce |
| Many studies found living together before marriage | increase divorce |
| Education, income, race and ethnicity and number of previous cohabitors | influence how cohabitation affects subsequent relationship stability |
| Cohabitors who marry after having a child have | lower marital relationship quality than do cohabitors who did not |
| Heterogamy | choosing someone dissimilar in race, age, education, religion or social class |
| Interracial unions | unions between partners of the white, black, Asian or N.A races with a spouse outside their own race -more common in metropolitan areas and in Western states where there is more diversity |
| Status Exchange Hypothesis | an individual might trade their socially defined superior racial/ethnic status for the economically or educationally superior states of a partner in a less-privileged racial/ethnic group |
| Black people are more likely to than Non-hispanic white and hispanic people to say that | intermarriage is generally a bad thing for society |
| Interfaith relationships | nearly 7 in 10 Americans married a spouse who shares their religion. Almost 4 in 10 married spouse from a different religion |
| Heterogamy and Relationship Quality and Stability | in general, research suggests that marriages that are homogamous in age, education, religion and race are the happiest and most stable -same values and attitudes |
| Some of the most common love myths | the right person will meet all my needs -i can change my partner -love will conquer all -love is a feeling -we'll live happily ever after |
| Contemporary Dating: Both men and women said that typical date involves 3 phases | 1. Initiation-meeting in a public place, casual talking, finding common interests, and calling for a date 2. the date itself 3. outcome-going back to the house, kissing goodnight, going home and developing a relationship |
| Nondating | generally sexual in nature and takes various forms such as "hooking up" or "friends with benefits" -reported not wanting a bf or gf -risky behaviors |
| A survey of 4,002 couples found no difference in relationship quality between couples who | met online as opposed to in person |
| Texting and instant messaging most common form of | communication |
| Men more so than women used tech. to deliver | bad news like " i think we should break up" or "i cheated" |
| Texting associated with higher perceived relationship stability among | women but negatively associated with men |
| Based on studying 3,343 dating profiles of adults age 60 plus seeking same-or cross-sex relationships, 5 themes : | 1. desire for a relationship 2. shared experiences 3. hobbies 4. romances 5. humor |
| The Wheel of Love | the development of love has 4 stages that can continue definitely 1. rapport 2. self-revelation 3. mutual dependency 4. need fulfillment |
| Rapport | rest on mutual trust and respect; similarity of values, interests, and background |
| Self-revelation | involves gradually sharing intimate info. about oneself -ideas about class, ethnic, or gender appropriate behaviors influence how partners self-disclose and respond to each other's self-revelation |
| Mutual dependency | 2 people desire to spend more time together; develop habits that require the presence of both partners |
| Need fulfillment | 2 people find that they satisfy a majority of each other's emotional needs. As a result, rapport increase, leading to deeper self-revelation, more mutually dependent habits, and still greater need satisfaction |
| A date who is likely to become physically violent often exhibits one or more of the following characteristics: | handles disagreements with inappropriate anger or rage -has to struggle to maintain self-control when a little thing triggers anger -goes into tirades -is quick to criticize or be verbally mean -jealous, restricting and controlling -violent |
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