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MARABELLE: I'll be sure to do that, yes. Speaking of calls, Marabelle, did we order the donuts for Monday's youth ministry?
MARABELLE: Not yet! I'll do that right away, Reed. We can't forget the donuts again. Those third graders almost had my head.
MARABELLE: I'll be there. Andrew.
DEARLOVE: That's Brother Andrew to you. But not Father Andrew.
DEARLOVE: Closer to it than you. How's preparation for ordination?
DEARLOVE: Fine. How's youth ministry. Fine... you're scheming.
DEARLOVE: Excuse me? You've identified a lost soul.
DEARLOVE: Yeah? So? Why don't we leave the ministering of youth to... youth ministry?
DEARLOVE: Because word on the street is that last week youth ministry forgot donuts. Couldn't you just make them magically appear? Oh, so funny. There's that charm everyone talks about.
DEARLOVE: And I suppose you're still teaching kids "the Magic of Jesus"? I am. And one day I'll be teaching the Magic of Ministry worldwide!
DEARLOVE: Stay in your lane. Christ is my lane.
DEARLOVE: Christ is our lane. Sellout!
DEARLOVE: Faker! Novice!
DEARLOVE: He stole my recorder! I borrowed it!
DEARLOVE: And never gave it back. That's not true!
JOSEPHINE: Now get back to manning your tables while I cover the announcements. Yes, Sister Josephine.
MACK: Oh, I love these cookies! They're so addicting! I'll take a box. I can't pass them up either.
MARABELLE: Everyone, could you give us a minute? We'll be back to bingo any minute now. You look like you could use a cookie, father.
FATHER: Oh, thanks, Reed. I've already eaten a whole box. If I have another, my collar will burst. Oh, what's one more cookie?
FATHER: Gluttony is a mortal sin. Then so are these cookies.
MACK: Are we sharing cookies, Mr. Yackley? I'll trade you a lemon lip for a mint cherry chip. Get your own box.
HELEN: Mr. Landers, are you near? FATHER: I'll go find him. While we wait, this seems like the perfect time for some magic!
DEARLOVE: Oh, I don't think that is necessary. I assure you it is. Dear brothers and sisters, tonight the word of the Lord will be passed along through the.....Magic....of.....Ministry! Huzzah! [music] I need a volunteer. Mrs. Walters, come on up here!
REED: Mrs. Walters, come on up here! Mrs. Walters, I am a blind man -- a spiritually blind man! Only with Jesus can I see. For just like Jesus rubbed mud onto the eyes of the blind man, so too shall I learn to see...into your mind!
REED: so too shall I learn to see...into your mind! So, Mrs. Walters, I want you to picture a blank slate, sort of like this! Now, Mrs. Walters, I will rub mud onto your eyes.
GRACE: What? I'm only joking, close your eyes and be blind.
REED: I thought you were the blind person? Work with me here, Mrs. Walters. In your mind, I want you to imagine an image. Something you can draw. Don't say it, just imagine it. You have it?
GRACE: Yes! Alright, now I want you to imagine you are drawing that image on this paper. Go ahead. Yes... yes, I see it clearly. My blindness has been cured by the Lord! Mrs. Walters, I am going to draw the image on this board that you -- and the Lord -- have sent me
REED: Mrs. Walters, I am going to draw the image on this board that you -- and the Lord -- have sent me. Now, I want you to open your eyes, but don't look at the paper yet. Okay, Mrs. Walters. Tell everyone what you pictured!
SKY: Ha! Way to go, Houdini! You were supposed to picture something you could draw!
GRACE: I can draw the Eiffel Tower! Not well! You've made me look like an idiot!
ROB: Woah, watch how you speak to my wife! It's not my fault your wife can't follow directions!
TINA: Oh, we don't read that. MARABELLE: You don't say. Hello there!
DEARLOVE: Nice trick, earlier. Yeah? Well, demon girl's mom ruined it.
SKY: Demon girl? Look at you! Dressed like that at a church gathering! It's clearly an act of protest.
SKY: It's called gothic. Exactly. Gothic. Macabre. It's offensive.
DEARLOVE: It's a phase. Everyone goes through it. I never went through it.
SKY: Dude, you're a magician. You're in it right now. I am not.
SKY: Are too! Am not!
SKY: Your fingernails are painted black. It's part of the mystique of the Magic of Ministry
FATHER: Our youth minister, Reed Yackley, will be calling the numbers for this round. [bingo] And what's your name? No! Don't tell me. Luna/Charles? Vivian/Michael? Trudy/Robert? What's your name? Well, Congratulations (name), you are welcome to choose any prize that is-
MACK: I forgot to shout Bingo. Who forgets to shout bingo?
DETECTIVE: I'm identifying the four of you as chief suspects. Chief suspects?
MARABELLE: Monsignor and Mr. Landers are both alive! So Mr. O'Malley is alive as well?
DETECTIVE: Perhaps it was the youth minister, Reed Yackley. Me?!
DETECTIVE: Maybe it's the magician hiding something up his sleeve? What about Brother Dearlove? Is he not being questioned?
FATHER: Detective Quinn, arrest that man! No! Wait! You can't!
HELEN: Why would you steal money from the parish, Reed? My youth ministry numbers were low! I had no choice!
MARABELLE: Youth ministry numbers were down so... you turned into an embezzler? Ever since he came onto the scene, everyone's been so hunky dory about Brother Dearlove. I couldn't stand it!
DEARLOVE: I told you he stole my recorder! I never wanted to be a youth minister! I wanted to be famous! O'Malley promised me half of what we took. I was going to have my own show in Vegas! I was going to be a star! Everyone would know my name. Who would care about Brother Dearlove?
REED: Who would care about Brother Dearlove? I'd be Reed Yackley introducing the world to the Magic of Ministry! Then you people ruined my dream. Just like you ruined my life! But that doesn't matter because you'll never catch me!
DETECTIVE: Let's go, Copperfield. You haven't heard the last of Reed Yackley! Remember my name! I'll be back! The Magic of Ministry will never die! Do you hear me! Never!
Created by: sophiesrlr
 

 



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