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Communications ch 7
| Question | Answer |
|---|---|
| indicates that you accept the right of the other person to define themselves or the relationship that way | confirmation |
| Every message conveys how many kinds of relational bids | 3 |
| this is how i see you | altercasting bid |
| this is how i want you to see me | face bid |
| this is how i see our relationship | relationship bid |
| True or false: Confirming messages are the most important determinant of mental and social development. | True |
| the simplest form of confirmation | recognition |
| you recognize the other person is there and they have sent a bid "you exist for me" | recognition |
| a statement about awareness of or interest in the other person's perceptions, comments, or questions | acknowledgement |
| "sure we can talk about that" | direct acknowledgement |
| "what did you mean when you said that?" | clarifying response |
| "you seem to be upset about that' | emotion acknowledgment |
| sends the message "the way you are feeling is okay," or "the way you are perceiving is okay" | endorsement |
| strongest level of confirming behavior | endorsement |
| "yes, we do need to talk" | agreement with judgments |
| "i know how you feel, I feel the same way" | agreement with feelings |
| "i know you're a good student and you're trying hard" | supportive response |
| "that was a very strong paper" | compliment |
| robs a person of the right and ability to assert self definition | disconfirmation |
| simplest form of disconfirmation | indifference |
| ignores the bid. it sends the message "you do not exist" | indifference |
| ignoring, avoiding eye contact, keeping at task | non verbal indifference |
| interruptions, talking right over the person | verbal indifference |
| most toxic form of imperviousness | speaking for the other |
| denial of person's experience directly denies that the person has the feelings or perceptions they do | imperviousness |
| "you're not upset with me, you're just in a bad mood" | deny emotions |
| "you think you're having a tough time at college but you're doing really well" | deny perceptions |
| "what you really mean is that you'd rather not go to the party" | speak for the other |
| most sophisticated form of disconfirmation | disqualification |
| refusing to directly respond to the relational message by giving an unclear or ambiguous response | disqualification |
| denying the context of a message | answering a different questoin |
| denying the receiver | makes you out to be part of a group |
| denying the content | response makes no sense |
| denying being the sender | says someone else is giving the response |
| person's primary attention or priority at a particular time | main involvement |
| not your priority but still holds your attention to some degree | side involvement |
| people are concentrating on each other and the communication | focused interaction |
| people are just sharing space at the same place at the same time | unfocused interaction |
| take away from our ability to connect with someone else | involvement offense |
| turning your attention to someone else when they walk by | external preoccupation |
| focusing on the way you look rather than the interaction | self-consciousness |
| focusing on the stain on the other person's tie rather than the interaction | other consciousness |
| focusing on filling the silences in the interaction | interaction consciousness |
| the assignment of arbitrary beginnings and endings to interactions | punctuation |
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