Chapter 7
Quiz yourself by thinking what should be in
each of the black spaces below before clicking
on it to display the answer.
Help!
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| Listening | The process of making sense of others' unspoken messages.
Giving meaning to sound.
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| Hearing | The process by which sound waves strike the eardrum and cause vibrations that are transmitted to the brain.
Physiological dimension of listening.
First step.
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| Mindless listening | When we react to others' messages automatically and routinely , without much mental investment.
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| Mindful listening | Giving careful and thoughtful attention and responses to the messages we receive.
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| Attending | The psychological process of filtering out some messages and focusing on others.
Second step.
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| Understanding | When we make sense of a message.
Third step.
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| Listening fidelity | The degree of congruence between what a listener understands and what the message sender was attempting to communicate.
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| Responding | Giving observable feedback to the speaker.
Fourth step.
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| Remembering | Ability to recall information.
Fifth step.
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| Types of Ineffective Listening | Pseudolisteing,
Stage-hogging,
Selective listening,
Insulated listening,
Defensive listening,
Ambushing,
Insensitive listening.
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| Pseudolistening | Imitation of listening - an act to fool the speaker, giving the appearance of being attentive.
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| Stage-hogging aka "conversational narcissists" | Trying to turn the topic of conversations to themselves instead of showing interest in the speaker.
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| Shift-response | Changing the focus of the conversation from the speaker to the narcissist.
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| Selective listening | Responding only to the parts of your remarks that interest them, rejecting everything else.
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| Insulated listening | Failing to hear or acknowledge information they'd rather not deal with.
Opposite of selective hearing.
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| Defensive listening | Taking others' remarks as personal attacks.
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| Ambushing | Listening carefully to you, but only because they're collecting information that they'll use to attack what you say.
E.g. Debates
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| Insensitive listening | Responding to the superficial content in a message but miss the more important emotional information that may not be expressed directly.
E.g. A: "How's it going?"
B: "Oh, okay I guess"
A: "Well, great!"
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| Reasons why we don't listen better: | Message overload,
Preoccupation,
Rapid thought,
Too much effort,
External noise,
Faulty assumptions,
Lack of apparent advantages,
Lack of training,
Hearing problems.
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| Types of listening responses: | Prompting,
Questioning,
Paraphrasing,
Supporting,
Analyzing,
Advising,
Judging.
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| Prompting | Using silences and brief statements of encouragement to draw others out.
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| Questioning | Asking for information.
Helps fill in facts and sharpen understanding,
Learn what others are thinking and feeling,
And encourage self-discovery.
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| Sincere Questions | Aimed at understanding others.
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| Counterfeit Quesitons | Aimed at sending a message, not receiving one.
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| Paraphrasing aka "active listening" | Restating in your own words the message you thought the speaker just sent, without adding anything new.
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| Supporting | Reveals a listener's solidarity with the speaker's situation.
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| 5 Types of Support | 1. Empathizing
2. Agreement
3. Offers to help
4. Praise
5. Reassurance
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| Analyzing | The listener offers and interpretation of a speaker's message.
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| Advising | Help by offering a solution.
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| Judging | Response evaluates the sender's thoughts or behaviors in some way.
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Review the information in the table. When you are ready to quiz yourself you can hide individual columns or the entire table. Then you can click on the empty cells to reveal the answer. Try to recall what will be displayed before clicking the empty cell.
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You may also shuffle the rows of the table by clicking on the "Shuffle" button.
Or sort by any of the columns using the down arrow next to any column heading.
If you know all the data on any row, you can temporarily remove it by tapping the trash can to the right of the row.
To hide a column, click on the column name.
To hide the entire table, click on the "Hide All" button.
You may also shuffle the rows of the table by clicking on the "Shuffle" button.
Or sort by any of the columns using the down arrow next to any column heading.
If you know all the data on any row, you can temporarily remove it by tapping the trash can to the right of the row.
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