Save
Busy. Please wait.
Log in with Clever
or
show password
Forgot Password?
Don't have an account?  Sign up 
Sign up using Clever
or
Username is available taken
show password


Make sure to remember your password. If you forget it there is no way for StudyStack to send you a reset link. You would need to create a new account. Your email address is only used to allow you to reset your password. See our Privacy Policy and Terms of Service.

Already a StudyStack user? Log In

Reset Password
Enter the associated with your account, and we'll email you a link to reset your password.
focusNode
Didn't know it?
click below
 
Knew it?
click below
Don't Know
Remaining cards (0)
Know
0:00
edit
Embed Code - If you would like this activity on your web page, copy the script below and paste it into your web page.

  Normal Size     Small Size show me how

CONTROL talk

COMN2311-LECT 15 & 16 Concepts

QuestionAnswer
When CONTROL talk appears recognised power difference between speakers in conversation or problem/conflict talk
Assumptions of CONTROL (light) talk*** manage other/maintain face; I persist - you change; my version is obviously true; based on my (real) data; I have access to all data;
CONTROL talk (review) Critical (I'm right-you're wrong) - light Offer new info (argue/teach/preach/) - light Negotiate change (they acquiesce to you) - light *Terminate/try again/take it personally Righteous anger - heavy Overt aggression - heavy Laying blame - heavy
Assumptions of CONTROL (heavy) talk*** I assume I know what you mean; you are to blame - your behaviour is incorrect/incomplete/inappropriate; I talk from critical judgement; "you"-messages; ask Qs to probe for agreement; listen for leverage; no/low acknowledgement; no/low support
CONTROL is about power rational or emotional persuasion for: positional; personal; principle of least interest (in relationship vs. being right)
Using power bases to influence other: (5) legitimate power; referent power; reward/coercive power; informational/persuasion power
Light CONTROL talk when there is no power advantage/resistance soft tactics; more emotional; create bot 'objective' and 'subjective' (emotional) rewards for other - induce some level of dependence
Active light CONTROL tactics (7) Pre-giving (reward then compliance); promises; (compliance then reward); +ve expertise (rewarded by nature);+ve self-feelings (in other); +ve altercasting (cast other in +ve role); +ve esteem (+ve for other); more appeals ('the right thing to do)
Passive light CONTROL tactics (5) -ve expertise (punished by nature); -ve self-feelings; -ve altercasting; -ve esteem; debt (call in past favours)
Light CONTROL works in the 'right' context: (4) other needs info we have; other has lees power/knowledge; other feels they have little to contribute; we get what we want & they change
Light CONTROL meets with resistance when: (5) other does not need our info; they hold opposing line/exerting independence from us; other responds w/ light CONTROL; we resist & reply w/ more light CONTROL --> become competitive
Heavy CONTROL forms (6) You-messages; labels (you are ... ) ; commands (don't do that ever again) ; judgement (you're wrong); blame (you made me); accusation (you don't care)
'You'-messages (5) focus on the person instead of the behaviour/situation; disguised emotion; places blame instead of solving issue; other is provoked into defensive; avoids ownership of your thoughts & feelings (other is not responsible)
Heavy CONTROL & Influence in Romantic Relationships if 1 is controller = uses heavy tactics; if no 1 = both use light CONTROL; if both = rational bargaining/compromise; low self esteem uses hard tactics (doesn't believe simple request will be accepted)
CONTROL & punctuation (Devito) IP COMN is: continuous; overlapping; complex; multi-causal; hard to accept (when defensive); so we simplify (punctuate)
Heavy CONTROL loop Heavy CONTROL-->chain of cause & effect -->"your behaviour caused my reaction" --> I need to be right
3 aspects of struggle in CONTROL talk what was said (truth); what was meant (help/hurt); who's to blame (they are the cause)
Assumptions (crippling) about "what was said" *** The struggle over the TRUTH: I am right; you are wrong; if I persist you will change; persistence creates resistance
Assumptions (crippling) about "what was meant" *** I know what you meant; infer others intentions from your feelings (auto-think); leads us up inference ladder; allness assumptions
Assumptions (crippling) about "who's to blame" *** most time is spent here: It's not the situation, it's THEM; problems only have one cause (over-attribution)
CONTROL (3) vs DIALOGUE talk (3) CONTROL starts from: REFLEX; REACTION & RIGHTNESS...DIALOGUE starts from: AWARENESS, ACCEPTANCE & APPROPRIATENESS
Three types of talk & problem-solving in relationships Connect Talk --> [problem]--> CONTROL talk (being right*/assume/judge) --> CHOOSE (mindfulness/flexibility/meta-talk) --> DIALOGUE Talk (solve problem/learn/accept)
Created by: elle99
Popular Miscellaneous sets

 

 



Voices

Use these flashcards to help memorize information. Look at the large card and try to recall what is on the other side. Then click the card to flip it. If you knew the answer, click the green Know box. Otherwise, click the red Don't know box.

When you've placed seven or more cards in the Don't know box, click "retry" to try those cards again.

If you've accidentally put the card in the wrong box, just click on the card to take it out of the box.

You can also use your keyboard to move the cards as follows:

If you are logged in to your account, this website will remember which cards you know and don't know so that they are in the same box the next time you log in.

When you need a break, try one of the other activities listed below the flashcards like Matching, Snowman, or Hungry Bug. Although it may feel like you're playing a game, your brain is still making more connections with the information to help you out.

To see how well you know the information, try the Quiz or Test activity.

Pass complete!
"Know" box contains:
Time elapsed:
Retries:
restart all cards