Busy. Please wait.

Forgot Password?

Don't have an account?  Sign up 

show password


Make sure to remember your password. If you forget it there is no way for StudyStack to send you a reset link. You would need to create a new account.

By signing up, I agree to StudyStack's Terms of Service and Privacy Policy.

Already a StudyStack user? Log In

Reset Password
Enter the email address associated with your account, and we'll email you a link to reset your password.

Remove ads
Don't know (0)
Know (0)
remaining cards (0)
To flip the current card, click it or press the Spacebar key.  To move the current card to one of the three colored boxes, click on the box.  You may also press the UP ARROW key to move the card to the "Know" box, the DOWN ARROW key to move the card to the "Don't know" box, or the RIGHT ARROW key to move the card to the Remaining box.  You may also click on the card displayed in any of the three boxes to bring that card back to the center.

Pass complete!

"Know" box contains:
Time elapsed:
restart all cards

Embed Code - If you would like this activity on your web page, copy the script below and paste it into your web page.

  Normal Size     Small Size show me how


COMN2311-LECT 15 & 16 Concepts

When CONTROL talk appears recognised power difference between speakers in conversation or problem/conflict talk
Assumptions of CONTROL (light) talk*** manage other/maintain face; I persist - you change; my version is obviously true; based on my (real) data; I have access to all data;
CONTROL talk (review) Critical (I'm right-you're wrong) - light Offer new info (argue/teach/preach/) - light Negotiate change (they acquiesce to you) - light *Terminate/try again/take it personally Righteous anger - heavy Overt aggression - heavy Laying blame - heavy
Assumptions of CONTROL (heavy) talk*** I assume I know what you mean; you are to blame - your behaviour is incorrect/incomplete/inappropriate; I talk from critical judgement; "you"-messages; ask Qs to probe for agreement; listen for leverage; no/low acknowledgement; no/low support
CONTROL is about power rational or emotional persuasion for: positional; personal; principle of least interest (in relationship vs. being right)
Using power bases to influence other: (5) legitimate power; referent power; reward/coercive power; informational/persuasion power
Light CONTROL talk when there is no power advantage/resistance soft tactics; more emotional; create bot 'objective' and 'subjective' (emotional) rewards for other - induce some level of dependence
Active light CONTROL tactics (7) Pre-giving (reward then compliance); promises; (compliance then reward); +ve expertise (rewarded by nature);+ve self-feelings (in other); +ve altercasting (cast other in +ve role); +ve esteem (+ve for other); more appeals ('the right thing to do)
Passive light CONTROL tactics (5) -ve expertise (punished by nature); -ve self-feelings; -ve altercasting; -ve esteem; debt (call in past favours)
Light CONTROL works in the 'right' context: (4) other needs info we have; other has lees power/knowledge; other feels they have little to contribute; we get what we want & they change
Light CONTROL meets with resistance when: (5) other does not need our info; they hold opposing line/exerting independence from us; other responds w/ light CONTROL; we resist & reply w/ more light CONTROL --> become competitive
Heavy CONTROL forms (6) You-messages; labels (you are ... ) ; commands (don't do that ever again) ; judgement (you're wrong); blame (you made me); accusation (you don't care)
'You'-messages (5) focus on the person instead of the behaviour/situation; disguised emotion; places blame instead of solving issue; other is provoked into defensive; avoids ownership of your thoughts & feelings (other is not responsible)
Heavy CONTROL & Influence in Romantic Relationships if 1 is controller = uses heavy tactics; if no 1 = both use light CONTROL; if both = rational bargaining/compromise; low self esteem uses hard tactics (doesn't believe simple request will be accepted)
CONTROL & punctuation (Devito) IP COMN is: continuous; overlapping; complex; multi-causal; hard to accept (when defensive); so we simplify (punctuate)
Heavy CONTROL loop Heavy CONTROL-->chain of cause & effect -->"your behaviour caused my reaction" --> I need to be right
3 aspects of struggle in CONTROL talk what was said (truth); what was meant (help/hurt); who's to blame (they are the cause)
Assumptions (crippling) about "what was said" *** The struggle over the TRUTH: I am right; you are wrong; if I persist you will change; persistence creates resistance
Assumptions (crippling) about "what was meant" *** I know what you meant; infer others intentions from your feelings (auto-think); leads us up inference ladder; allness assumptions
Assumptions (crippling) about "who's to blame" *** most time is spent here: It's not the situation, it's THEM; problems only have one cause (over-attribution)
Three types of talk & problem-solving in relationships Connect Talk --> [problem]--> CONTROL talk (being right*/assume/judge) --> CHOOSE (mindfulness/flexibility/meta-talk) --> DIALOGUE Talk (solve problem/learn/accept)
Created by: elle99