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Habit 4:Think Winwin
A set of note cards based on chapter 4 of the 7 Habits
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Balance courage with consideration. |
Make deposits in other people's Emotional Bank Accounts. |
Main Point: I can build effective relationships with people by working for their benefit as well as my own. |
Unless other people can win with you, you never truly win at anything. True victory comes from solidarity not division. |
See: It's possible to win in such a way that others can win too. |
Do: Balance your courage with consideration and make deposits in other's emotional bank accounts. |
Get: More 'wins' in life and better relationships with others. |
Win-Lose: High courage and low consideration for others, too proud for your own good and can only feel like you won when other people lose. "I don't need to outrun the bear, I just need to out run you." |
Lose-Win: Low on courage and high consideration, you say yes too fast and let people step over you while not sticking up for what you believe in. Permanent victim mentality and always looking for sympathy. |
Lose-Lose: If you can't win, you'll drag everyone else down with you, envy and revenge dominate your relationships and often you'll put others down along with yourself. Sink the ship with everyone on it mentality. |
Win-Win or No Deal: Either everyone wins or you walk away before someone loses- including yourself. A balance of courage and consideration for others to help them feel good and feel good yourself. |
Main Point: I can make deposits of kindness and helpfulness into other peoples emotional bank accounts. When I do this, it's easier to make new friends and build strong relationships. |
Find out what a deposit is for the other person: What you consider a deposit might actually be a withdrawal to the other person; you never know until you ask so make sure to ask, communication and openness are exceptionally important. |
Do Small Acts of Kindness: Take a leap of faith and be kind to others, it costs nothing to be kinds but costs everything to be a discourteous jerk who does things only for themselves. |
Keep Promises: Breaking a promise can easily bankrupt someone's EBA, it's why is so important to fulfill your promises and commitments. |
Keep Confidences: When someone shares something with you, keep it confidential when they ask. Telling other's can and often is a humiliating thing so be respectful of what other's tell you in private. |
Be Loyal to the Absent: Don't shame those that aren't even there and able to defend themselves, stick up for other's if you hear badmouthing about them. |
Set Clear Expectations: Don't leave room for misinterpretation and miscommunication, be clear and concise in your thoughts in in your expectations. |
Apologize: It might take some time to admit that you're wrong, and that's ok, you apologizing can mean a lot to the person or they may not accept it. As long as you do apologize, you're working to better yourself and be better to others. |
Forgive: Learn to forgive so that you don't keep hurting yourself the way you were hurt. Don't let the scorn and pain of yesterday hold you back from a bright tomorrow. |