CMN 230 Final
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| Instrumental effects of quality comforting | presence of social network and what they do
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| relational and identity effects of quality comforting | people feel better about themselves, enhances relationship quality. explicit messages work best.
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| social support | information from others that one is cared for, loved, esteemed, and a part of a mutually supportive network
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| types of social support | instrumental/tangible--provide resources, informational--problem solving, emotional or comforting--emotional improvement
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| verbal person centeredness | the extent to which message behavior reflects an awareness of and adaptation to the subjective, affective, and relational aspects of communication contexts
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| low person centeredness | deny or criticize the other's feelings, tell the other person how he or she should feel
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| moderate person centeredness | implicitly recognize the other's feelings, present explanations or distracting
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| high person centeredness | explicitly recognize and legitimize the other's feelings
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| immediacy | nonverbal behavior that conveys interest and liking.
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| skills crucial to effective support | active listening, validating feelings, empathizing and contextualizing feelings, using clarifying questions that allow distressed to verbalize feelings, emphasizing positive aspects of the other's identity
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| not skillful behaviors for support | telling people how to feel or what the solution is, minimizing the situation or the other's feelings, not adapting to what the other person says, dominating the conversation.
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| hurt | feeling emotional injury caused by behaviors/comments that signal devaluation of target or relationship. occurs frequently.
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| appraisal theory of emotion | people monitor the environment to assess whether conditions help or hinder their goals.
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| primary appraisal | valence and consequences of the situation. how relevant is this situation to my needs? can appraise the situation as favorable to goals leading to positive emotions or unfavorable to goals leading to negative emotions. assess the intensity of the hurt
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| secondary appraisal | available coping options, who should be held accountable--self or other. assess the intention of the hurt.
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| action tendency | each appraisal has one. behaviors that emotions compel us to perform, which will close the gap between the appraised situation and our goals. may decide to distance.
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| self presentation | production of coherent sets of behaviors that would lead others to infer a corresponding private self that may or may not exist.
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| face | the public image that every member wants to claim
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| negative face | individual's desire to have control
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| positive face | having our social image accepted
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| cooperative facework | facework done with positive regard for another
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| aggressive facework | behaviors done to save or maintain own face at the expense of another's face.
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| factors that influence the decision to avoid face threats | desire to communicate content of the message, need for efficiency, desire to preserve face
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| threats to positive face | ridicule, insults, challenges
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| threats to negative face | orders, advice, warnings
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| threats to speaker's face | offering an apology
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| threats to listener's face | criticism, accusations
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| severity of face determined by | social distance, power, ranking
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| 5 level hierarchy of strategies to minimize face threat | bald on record--direct, least polite, positive politeness--compensate for face threat with positivity, negative politeness--mitigates threat by being respectful and not controlling, indirect comments--off record, withhold comment completely--most polite
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| self monitoring | the degree to which a person monitors and controls self presentation in social situations.
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| deception | a message knowingly transmitted to foster a false belief. done to accomplish a task, avoid conflict, avoid hurt, speed up or slow down a relationship
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| assumptions of interpersonal deception | interpersonal communication is interactive, strategic deception demands mental effort
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| cognitive overload | unable to attend to all aspects of deception, some behaviors will go on auto pilot leading to nonstrategic displays
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| message characteristics that reflect strategic intent to decieve | uncertainty and vagueness, nonimmediacy/reticence/withdrawal, disassociation--shifting responsibility to others, image and relationship protecting behavior
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| strategic behaviors of deception increase when | the situation is highly interactive, participants know each other well, deceiver fears discovery, deceiver's motivation is selfish, deceiver has good communication skills
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| leakage | unconscious behaviors outside of the deceiver's control that can signal dishonesty.
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| leakage caused by | excessive control, physiological arousal, stress, feeling guilty, cognitive overload.
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| cmn boundary management theory | in relationships, we are faced with a struggle between intimacy and autonomy when we want to disclose private information. Self-disclosure is risky but has benefits.
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| boundaries | people set up metaphoric boundaries to reduce the negative effects of disclosing when they choose to reveal private information. manages flow of information, regulates vulnerability to self. personal rules for how much you feel comfortable disclosing
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| preventative facework | attempt to minimize face loss before the threat occurs
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| corrective facework | apologies, excuses, and justifications avoidance, humor to remedy the threat to the face.
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| factors that boundary rules are based on | predicted outcomes of the exchange, need for disclosure, riskiness of telling the information, degree to which the information is considered private, degree of personal emotional control.
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| explicit demand message strategies | demands are stated without disguise, politeness sacrificed for clarity. granted receiver autonomy is lower. loose control of communication boundary because the partner is expected to respond.
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| boundary coordination | each person makes strategic decisions to protect autonomy and enhance intimacy
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| power | the ability to influence others to get what you want. also includes the ability to resist the influence attempts of others.
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| types of power | coercive, reward, legitimate, expert, referent
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| implicit demand message strategies | purpose of disclosing information is less clear and the expectation for response is ambiguous. greater autonomy granted to the receiver
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| power principles | power is a perception, power is relative--partners influence each other at different times, person with less to lose has less power, power can be enabling or disabling.
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| secret | intentional concealment of information. increased deception, preserves personal boundaries
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| effects of secret keeping | hyperaccessibility--trying not to think about it makes you think about it more, rebound effect--repeated thinking about infidelity makes it harder to stay faithful, fever model of self-disclosure--the more you think about it, the more you want to tell oth
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| chilling effect | more dependent/less powerful person is more likely to withhold grievances and complaints
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| specific reasons for relationship termination | withdraw, negative communication, lack of openness and intimacy, autonomy and independence (smothering), relationship disillusionment--positive illusions fade.
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| cognitive threshold of relational dissolution | thoughts at the end of each phase that propel people to the next phase
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| 3 major types of lies | falsification, concealment, equivocation (dodging the issue)
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| conflict | an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, and interference from the other party in achieving their goals.
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| conflict management styles | avoiding, accomodating, competing, collaborating, compromising.
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| four horsemen | criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling
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| strategy for repair | have a conversation, apologize. turning towards bids--pay attention to them.
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| characteristics of constructive conflict | provide greater understanding of the other/self/relationship, clarify (dis)similarities, learn methods for coping with future conflict, reveal areas in which cmn effort and adaptation need to be strengthened. make cmn clear. not mindreading. pausing and r
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| 4 stages of relational dissolution | intrapsychic, dyadic, social, grave-dressing
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| intrapsychic phase | start to reflect about negative aspects and contrast them with cost of leaving relationship. decide wether or not to discuss problems with partner. hint about problems or discuss them with a 3rd party.
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| dyadic phase | dissatisfied partners begin to discuss problems, attempt to negotiate. fights, arguments, long talks.
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| social phase | begin talking to social network and investigating alternatives to current relationship. save face and receive support by telling their side of the story. start complaining publicly and displaying discontent.
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| grave dressing phase | emotional repair and realignment must occur. people try to create justifications for why the relationship ended. breakup has occured.
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| catastrophe model | relationship breakups do not gradually unwind through stages, but are characterized by a "sudden death" incident that leads to rapid disengagement. discovery of infidelity, big fight, violence, basic difference in values.
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| general reasons for relationship breakup | individual choice, atrophy, separation, death.
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| unilateral, indirect | avoidance, relational ruses--manipulation, withdrawal of support and affection, pseudo de-escalation--false declaration to let people down easy, cost escalation--making relationship hard for partner
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| unilateral, direct | direct dump, date other people, justification, relationship talk trick, threats and bullying, positive tone, de-escalation
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| bilateral, indirect | fadeaway. calls and seeing each other slow down. inconsistent with the catastrophe model of breakups.
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| bilateral, direct | blame game, negotiated farewell
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