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Family Mediation

wise agreement meets the legitimate interests of each side to the extent possible, resolves conflicting interests fairly, is durable, and takes community interests into account
principled negotiation method PIOC. separate the people from the problem, focus on interests rather then positions, generate a variety of possibilities before deciding what to do, insist that the result be based on some objective standard.
stages of negotiation analysis, planning, discussion
analysis stage diagnose the situation, gather information, organize it, think about it
planning stage dealing with PIOC, and in addition, generate ideas and decide what to do
discussion stage parties communicate back and forth, looking toward agreement, PIOC is best to focus on
most powerful interests to humans basic needs(security, economic well-being, sense of belonging, recognition, control over one's life)
cognitive dissonance a psycholgical state that describes the uncomfortable feeling bw what one holds to be true and what one knows to be true. describes conflicting thoughts or beliefs, that are modified or newly added to eliminate conflict bw your ideas and unfamiliar ones
4 major obstacles that inhibit the inventing of options premature judgment, searching for the single answer, the assumption of a fixed pie, thinking that solving "their problem is their problem"
fixed pie believing that only one party can "win". all or nothing.
the circle chart (4 steps) thinking about the particular problem (r), descriptive analysis (t), consider what ought to be done (t), come up with feasible suggestions for the action (r)
the circle chart provides an easy way of using one good idea to generate others
negotiating with objective criteria frame each issue as a joint search for objective criteria, reason and be open to reason as to which standars are more appropriate and how they should be applied, never yield to pressure, only to principle
BATNA best alterenative to a negotiated agreement. the standard against which any proposed agreement should be measured, the only standard which can protect both sides from accepting terms that are too unfavorable and from rejecting terms they should accept
negotiation jujitsu rather then defeding your postion or attacking theirs, do neither, and channel arguing-energy into exploring interests, inventing options for mutual gain, and searching for independent standards
points of negotiation jujitsu don't attack their position, look behind it. don't defend your ideas, invite criticism and advice. recast an attack on you as an attack on the problem. ask questions and pause.
deliberate deception common tricky tactic. includes phony facts, ambiguous authority, dubious intentions, less then full disclosure is not the same as deception.
psychological welfare common tricky tactic. includes stressful situations, personal attacks, the good-guy/bad-guy routine, threats
positional pressure tactics common tricky tactic. includes refusal to negotiate, escalating demands, hardhearted partner, a calculated delay, "take it or leave it"
conciliation type of adr. informal 3rd party brings two parties together, but doesn't part in process
arbitration type of adr. 3rd party (neutral), similar to a court process, ruling is final
mediation type of adr. 3rd party (neutral) helps parties identify issues, and explores mutually agreeable options
facilitation type of adr. 3rd party (neutral) uses skills to promote communication and understand negative issues
neutral evaluation type of adr. 3rd party (neutral) listens to arguments and offers evaluation
non-mediated settlement type of adr. no 3rd party. parties negotiate for a mututally satisfactory solution
types of conflict relationship, data, interest, structural, value
ways that conflict is resolved denial or withdrawl, suppression or smoothing over, power or dominance, compromise or negotiation, integration or collaboration
morton deutsch's theory of cooperation & competition (5 major conflict styles) competing, accommodating, avoiding, compromising, collaborating
competing high assertiveness, low coopoerativeness
accommodating low assertiveness, high cooperativeness
avoiding low assertiveness, low cooperativeness
compromising moderate assertiveness, moderate cooperativeness
collaborating high assertiveness, high cooperativeness
pure mediation model mediator should: help disputants tell their stories, define issues, explore options. not provide agenda. not provide options and alternatives. intend it to be an empowering process. is interest-based. often associated with community mediation.
assertiveness pursuit of one's own goals
cooperativeness pursuit of mutual goals
adr alternative dispute resolution
structured mediation model mediator's job is to help disputants tell stories, define issues, explore options. often uses a preset agenda and preset written guidelines. provides options and alternatives in a carefully structured format.
transformative mediation model "understanding model". goal is to rebuild relationship from negative/destructive to positive/constructive. focus is NOT resolution. mediator: help disputants follow their own guidelines, do not control agenda. used by us postal service. critic: therapy.
generic/eclectic mediation model mediator: help disputants tell their stories, define issues, explore options. combo of techniques and approaches found in other models as well as in counseling, therapy, and negotiation. "whatever works" with uses of good sense, ethics, & good practices
roles of the mediator remain neutral, lets parties make decisions, records decisions, clarify communication, get people to explore options, helps balance power.
qualities of the mediator people skills, communication skills, non-judgmental, respected, imaginitive, comfortable with high emotion, patient, positive
reflecting feelings what someone is feeling and why
consensual validation "that must be frustrating for you"
clarifying "let me see if i heard you right"
paraphrasing a way to summarize. "so what i hear you saying is..."
reframing translating emotional messages into interest statements. "you need...you're interested in...what you're trying to acheive is..."
mediator strategies sitting position (triangle), soothing music, snacks, ground rules, writing pads, kleenex, dry erase board, pens
setting up an intake/orientation with receptionist each person gets own packet, client is educated on processes, questions are answered, orientation is scheduled, minimal charge
setting up an intake/orientation with no receptionist mediator must stay impartial to both parties, speak with all parties, state up front neutrality
intake/orientation session mediator gathers information about the disputants and the dispute
setting a tone for mediation modeling honesty, validating and addressing client concerns about fairness, mediator remains neutral, lay down ground rules
mediation confidentiality expression to parties that they, and you will keep everyting disucssed completely confidential
process of mediation: step 1 listing the issues: what do they believe are the issues in dispute?
process of mediation: step 2 define one of the issues
process of mediation: step 3 discussion of issues and concerns: talk to each other, keep discussion focused, summarize what is accomplished (reframing occurs here)
process of mediation: step 4 explore options and alternatives: list many different options, keep digging
process of mediation: step 5 mutual selection of an option: help parties make agreement
interpretation how people perceive the other party's behavior
position demands, threats, fixed solutions, proposals, or points of view
interest what really matters to the individual (why "x" is the problem)
issue the topic that parties need to discuss and decide upon
memorandums of understanding (mou's) document that contains the agreements during mediation. if it contains legal language it can be legally binding (if signed and notarized). normally not legally binding, if desire, should be taken to an advisory attorney.
caucusing mediators meet with each party individually in order to allow them to speak privately with each party (shuttle mediation, typically very short)
co-mediation two mediatiors mediate side-by-side during the mediation process
psychological considerations making sure individuals are psychologically capable of making and following long-term decisions
signs of power imbalances one party: rarely speaks in session or won't give opinion, constantly defers to the other, gives or bargains away basic rights, doesn't have an attorney.
ways to neutralize validate necessity for both parties to mediate, expand on options to be chosen, check agreements, refer parties back to attorneys, assess competence levels, help clients discuss concerns in an appropriate way, refocus parties, insist legal access
normalizing mediator must convince client that their problem is normable, and solvable
mutualizing mediator must get clients to let go of individual definitions and move to a mutual problem definition
future focus mediator tries to get away from right and wrong, and instead wants recognition for the future
summarizing mediator summarizes the session, so it can clarify expectations and needs
useful information info and date about the dispute, clients' goals and statements, indications of bargaining behaviors and strategies
non-useful information social talk, emotional and emotive statements, legal and therapy questions
watna worst alternative to a negotiated agreement
Created by: ademb